July 4th for Your Spirit
“The deeper human nature needs to breathe the precious air of liberty.” —Dalai Lama We’re hard-wired to seek freedom, according to Muriel James. In her book, Perspectives in Transactional Analysis, she writes: The urge to be free is closely related to the urge to live. Freedom is the first struggle for life. It starts […]
The Latest Wow: The Great Divide
Not long ago, I was counseling a couple when one partner, Tracie, wowed me with this: “There will be days in which I will get mad at you and you will get mad at me but we will resolve it. I don’t want to live a life of avoidance.” Tracie is on to something. […]
Be Brave and Speak Up
Ever find yourself in the midst of a group of people engaged in a bashfest? Some unfortunate individual is being maligned or trashed behind their back. What to do? Join in to feel a part of things? Or stand there, silently uncomfortable? Either choice makes our soul uneasy. It feels like we’re participating in a […]
Fishing with My Little Brother
Everyone knows dads come in all shapes and sizes . . . but they also come in assorted forms. Lots of children are fortunate enough to have a man—who isn’t their biological father—step into that role. They may either supplement what Dad is doing or, perhaps, fill in the gap where Dad is literally […]
Love is the Force
“I want her to know she can come to me.” Ben was referring to his twelve-year-old daughter, Madison. He sought my advice because 1) he’s concerned about her grades and 2) he realizes his approach is alienating her. When Ben talks to Madison about her grades, he doesn’t talk. He yells and puts her down. […]
Choose to Bloom
Spring. The sun. The warm air. Life blooming. With the awakening earth, my soul is refreshed. Like the flowers that push through the hard ground, I too am now open to possibility. No one chooses how I bloom but me! —Kim Thompson I just love that poem! How does it speak to […]
Two to Tango
Passivity invites the other person to take a power position. Maya and Jarel have been dancing the same dance step—or style of relating—for years. He dominates and she obediently yields. She’s tired of it. Not long ago, she was ready to walk out the door, but right at that point he made a dramatic change . […]
You’re Bigger Than You Think
There’s a psychological term I want to introduce you to. You may already know it; the word is “schema” and it means a deeply ingrained belief or impression about ourselves and the world around us. Schemas take root at an early age as a result of what we experience in life. Certain key people […]
My Journey as Mom
The other day I realized something: When my two sons were young, I thought everything they did was cute. Well . . . almost everything. Now they think everything I do is cute. How do I know that? Because they let me know. Without warning, one of them will say, “Oh, mom, that’s so cute.” […]
Love Can’t Thrive in a Cage
“If you really love me, you’ll be true to yourself!” Say that to your partner and watch their jaw drop to the floor. Why? Because we usually get the opposite message: “If you really love me, you’ll do what I want. You’ll do back flips—on the ceiling!—to please me.” Has anyone ever tried to […]