“If you really love me, you’ll be true to yourself!”
Say that to your partner and watch their jaw drop to the floor. Why? Because we usually get the opposite message: “If you really love me, you’ll do what I want. You’ll do back flips—on the ceiling!—to please me.”
Has anyone ever tried to guilt you with a statement like that one? What did it evoke in you? A warm fuzzy feeling? Doubtful.
Have you ever said that to anybody else? Did it feel like an act of love to you? Probably not. That’s because it hails from feeling deserving and entitled.
Click here to read about Dane and Paula … two people who were unhappy in their relationships for this very reason.
Shoulds and love do not belong in the same universe.
Thich Nhat Hanh sums it up perfectly: “You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free.”