The warm air.
With the awakening earth, my soul is refreshed.
Like the flowers that push through the hard ground,
I too am now open to possibility.
No one chooses how I bloom but me!
I just love that poem! How does it speak to me? It’s all about birth, change, and personal choice. Life just doesn’t stand still—it can’t. Old eventually gives way to new. We witness it everywhere!
Such a peaceful thought . . . to know we all have a chance at renewal. I’m certainly not the same person I was ten years ago or even ten days ago. “Hard ground”—struggle—is on everybody’s agenda, but so is blooming.
Brad’s a perfect example. For years he’s lived in a cage—a cage of depression. I wrote about him a few months back. Click here to read “The Latest Wow: We Can’t Always Snap Out of It.”
Well, it seems he is snapping out of it—I’m noticing some blooming going on. For the first time, Brad’s questioning what his inner roommate tells him. (For more on inner roommates, read “Meet Your Roommate.”)
His badgering roommate tells him—on a constant basis—what a loser he is. It accuses him of being lazy, wasting time, and generally being worthless. Internalizing that message, giving it the weight of truth, kills all motivation. “I hesitate to make more of myself . . . to even try,” he said, “because I think: What’s the use? Why try? I’ll never get it right.”
Your busy mind isn’t you. You’re the one observing it.
“What’s the benefit of being an observer of your thoughts?” I asked.
“It allows a person to detach from their roommate,” he said. “It’s a form of letting go. I see that I need to separate from my thoughts.”
I would love the opportunity to get Brad’s inner roommate on “the couch.” The first thing out of my mouth would be: “Don’t you have something better to do? Who’s actually the lazy one here? As far as I can see, your sole interest in life is tearing Brad to shreds every chance you get. How ridiculous is that? What a complete waste of time and how utterly pointless!”
Of course, I would never actually have a conversation like that with a client, but “roommates” are another matter. That’s exactly the kind of conversation we all need to have with our bedeviling inner critics. Brad, I’m happy to say, is well on his way.
Names are changed to honor client confidentiality.
Thanks to Kim Thompson for the use of her lovely poem. Kim’s talents extend far beyond her gift with words . . . check out her site and see for yourself. 🙂
11 responses to “Choose to Bloom”
The longer I live, the more I realize I am changing, evolving constantly. How can my today self possibly criticize my 20 something self? I don’t even really know her anymore! Her shoes would be so uncomfortable on my feet now. She would not understand my today self, she would be shocked that I’ve grown to love myself so much more that I did then. She would say but you’re so old and I would smile…………..
How positively beautiful, Kelly!
Being stuck in a depression rut is tough but once you get it together and start to come out of it it is awesome. It is such a refreshing feeling. Hanging on to that is the hard part. I think maybe he needs to cut from the bad things and do more of the things that make him happy. Get rid of the “roommate” 😉 I try to tell myself that life is REALLY short and happiness is key. Change is so good and you find a new part of you constantly through change.
So right you are! Thanks, always, for your wisdom, Alissa.
Brad has wonderful wisdom; when we observe the roommate we are able to detach. It is like with anyone, when we stop fighting eventually the other person stops too. It is absolutely freeing to sit there and observe the roommate, and just shake our head at it. We are not that voice in our head, we are so much bigger!! Our true state is love and happiness. We have just been programmed by society and our parents.
What a perfect synopsis, Rachel. And, I so love the comparison you made between our roommate and “anyone” in terms of detaching!
I love the last line of Kim’s poem, “no one chooses how to bloom but me.” Sometimes family, and society too, has a way of trying to shape and mold you into their image of you. Let’s not let our authentic light be dimmed. What a tragedy that would be. Here is a quote: ” Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and then go do it. Because what the world needs is people who become alive.” Howard Thurman
It only takes one word to express my response: Wow!
Thank you, Salee! You are a constant voice for change and living an authentic life. I am always learning from you and inspired by you. 🙂
Thanks so very much, Jennifer. How nice.
The inner roommate seems to have stored up all the ugly, nasty things someone once told us and repeats them to us for years.
I had a friend tell me lately…. you are willing to push yourself into things out of your comfort zone. When someone else believes I am capable I find it much easier to believe in myself. I am so thankful for friends who believe in me blooming into a new me.