Love is the Force
“I want her to know she can come to me.” Ben was referring to his twelve-year-old daughter, Madison. He sought my advice because 1) he’s concerned about her grades and 2) he realizes his approach is alienating her. When Ben talks to Madison about her grades, he doesn’t talk. He yells and puts her down. […]
My Journey as Mom
The other day I realized something: When my two sons were young, I thought everything they did was cute. Well . . . almost everything. Now they think everything I do is cute. How do I know that? Because they let me know. Without warning, one of them will say, “Oh, mom, that’s so cute.” […]
Love Can’t Thrive in a Cage
“If you really love me, you’ll be true to yourself!” Say that to your partner and watch their jaw drop to the floor. Why? Because we usually get the opposite message: “If you really love me, you’ll do what I want. You’ll do back flips—on the ceiling!—to please me.” Has anyone ever tried to […]
The Latest Wow: Where Life is
Not long ago, Todd, a client, wowed me with this: “I want to be the type of person who loves others above myself. I know that’s where life is.” Todd lives in a self-contained sphere that doesn’t include other people. He’s not a hermit—living an isolated existence. Far from it. He’s a husband, father, […]
Life’s Hidden Agenda
The soul wants growth and that doesn’t translate into a smooth ride. I think life is akin to climbing into a canoe and paddling down a stream that’s rife with challenges and uncertainties. Yes, it’s risky and stress-provoking—to say the least. But if we hang in there, we get really good at navigating obstacles. Call […]
Life’s the Teacher
“Truth cannot be borrowed. It can only be experienced.” Thich Nhat Hanh One of the hardest things to endure is watching a loved one suffer and being unable to teach them the life lessons we’ve learned. We’ve all been there, and we all end up pulling our hair out in utter frustration when our best […]
Finding the Right Someone
A relationship that’s right for us is one that sets our spirit free. Hey … Valentine’s Day is right around the bend, so it’s a good time to take a look at love—up close—and contemplate its meaning … just what the heck is it? Finding a solid definition of love is fuzzy. There are probably […]
The Unboxable Gift
How would you define a gift? A few years back when I posed that question to various people, I learned that a bumper sticker held the truth: “The best things in life aren’t things.” Hmmm . . . truth shows up in the least expected places at times. (Fodder for a new post, wouldn’t you […]
Trained By a Dog
Let’s face it, if we’re vague about what we want, we won’t get it. Like Karen, a former client, we’ll only cultivate inner frustration. “Never—ever!—did I anticipate the day I’d be jealous of a dog,” she said, “but I am . . . If the dog wants to play, Sam drops everything and plays with […]
It Takes Courage to Feel
Some people think that being tough has to do with muscle strength and detached emotions, but it’s the opposite. It takes courage to feel. Brenna, a client in her 20’s, mistakes strength with being stoic—devoid of emotion like one of Clint Eastwood’s characters. Her mom matches those qualities, and Brenna feels weak in comparison. “I […]