Nope … the Ring Won’t Change Him
Steer clear of people who fail to take an honest look at themselves. Do you really want to be with a person who can’t be reasoned with, who doesn’t take an honest look in the mirror, and who flies into a rage at the mere drop of a hat? That was the question I asked […]
She Wasn’t Being Silly
Paralyzed with fear, Kathleen stopped suddenly in her tracks. The trail she was hiking with her husband, Zach, had come to an unexpected fork. They were assured, back at the visitors center, that all trails would be clearly marked. For the most part, that proved to be true, but definitely not now. Zach motioned to the […]
Raw Truth from Teens
Let’s dispel a common myth about teenagers. They actually yearn to communicate with their parents, despite evidence to the contrary. But communication must be a two-way street, and for a vast number of teenagers, that isn’t happening. It’s not so much a refusal to open up—instead, their silence is often rooted in discouragement because of […]
Will it Last?
“If only I could see into the future. I keep wondering if we’ll be together.” Abby has a new love in her life. He treats her well, they laugh, play and enjoy many of the same things. Secretly though, she’s consumed by fears of it not lasting. “Right now your relationship with Tyler is only […]
Fake Love
“We need in love to practice only this: letting each other go. For holding on comes easily—we do not need to learn it.” ~ Rainer Maria Rilke “If she leaves me, I’ll die—I’ll have nothing to live for. She’s everything to me—she’s my life!” Jeremy, 27, is panicked over the possibility of losing his […]
Poke the Tiger
“I pray every night that God will take my life.” Vince, 56, apparently would rather die than leave a life-sucking relationship. He’s been with his wife, Gail, for eight years. And for the bulk of that time he’s been unhappy, merely enduring his existence instead of living. In our counseling session, he depicted Gail as […]
The Unhappy Chameleon
Doug wowed me with this in one of our sessions: “I always wanted to blend in . . . like a chameleon.” Then looking away reflectively, he added, “You know, it takes a hell of a lot of energy to change my colors.” He’s right. So why do we do it? It’s all about making sure we’re […]
Thank You, Daddy
Whether you’re a grown-up or a young child, your father probably occupies a special place in your heart. ♥ Over the years, my clients have shared many thoughts about their fathers with me. One client made me smile with this one: “I remember Sunday mornings listening to records and Dad dancing the polka in stocking feet on the […]
“How Do I Fix Us?”
“Why am I the last to find out? I didn’t know my wife was unhappy. She never told me!” I had to tell him the truth. “Yes, she did, Todd. There were clues. You just weren’t seeing them.” Beth had grown quiet and distant in his presence. In contrast, she was lively and talkative around […]
Gifts that Endure
A gift is defined by how it impacts the heart. Sadly, we’re hypnotized by ad campaigns that tie the act of gift-giving to the act of spending money. In fact, the more money spent, the greater the perceived value of the gift—and the greater proof of love. Something has definitely gone awry when the measure […]