Be Bigger Than Fear
To dare is to lose one’s footing momentarily. To not dare is to lose one’s self. Soren Kierkegaard Sad to say, many of us choose playing it safe over living fully. Spencer Johnson, M.D., addresses this condition and offers a solution in a delightful little book, Who Moved My Cheese? The story’s setting takes place […]
Latest Wow: Anger’s a Mask We Wear
“I don’t mind being the bitch … it gives me boundaries. It protects me from how vulnerable, wrong, and empty I feel inside.” This was the first session Kate’s focus went inward. Before that, her focus had been on her outer enemies. Kate’s wow—one of many—had me jumping out of my seat that day! It was exciting to be part […]
Husband and Doormat
The problem with walking on eggshells is that it imprisons you, and nothing gets better. That was my response to Naomi in our counseling session. She habitually succumbs to her hot-tempered husband. “I’m careful about everything I say because, well, he gets ugly if I tell him what he doesn’t want to hear,” she said. […]
Freedom is Creating a Fabulous Elephant!
“It takes one a long time to become young.” –Pablo Picasso I remember hearing about an 8-year-old girl who painted a picture of a fabulous elephant. What made her elephant earn the distinction of being fabulous? She used a wide array of colors. Unfortunately, her teacher was stricken with an adult brain and was […]
Leaving Your Cage
A cage is anything that confines, reduces, inhibits or limits us. This includes our distorted ideas about ourselves. In Meet Your True Self, my previous post, Brad woke up to the fact that his inner roommate, also known as an inner critic, was a liar. In that mere flash of an instant, Brad freed himself from a […]
Meet Your True Self
When you’re harassed by guilt and self-judgment, you’re vacating your true self . . . and you’re vacating truth. Period. In my last post, Escape your Jungle, I defined the true self and how it can easily become overshadowed by a bogus self-concept—based on erroneous beliefs about ourselves. Donna was my example. Her negative conclusions about herself […]
Escape Your Jungle
Self-compassion . . . how do we get there? In my most recent post, I suggested that the key to this nirvana is disbelieving our conditioned self-concept, which is comprised of innumerable verbal and nonverbal messages we’ve absorbed over our lifetime. Years ago, I worked with Donna, a woman with depression. She saw herself as inferior, […]
Love Who You Are
As I contemplated jumping into this enormous project, I was grateful to get the following comment from a reader: “Having compassion for ourselves and letting go of unrealistic expectations is a life long journey. A few simple steps to help us move forward would be helpful.” —Judith That sounded to me like a mighty […]
July 4th for Your Spirit
“The deeper human nature needs to breathe the precious air of liberty.” —Dalai Lama We’re hard-wired to seek freedom, according to Muriel James. In her book, Perspectives in Transactional Analysis, she writes: The urge to be free is closely related to the urge to live. Freedom is the first struggle for life. It starts […]
Choose to Bloom
Spring. The sun. The warm air. Life blooming. With the awakening earth, my soul is refreshed. Like the flowers that push through the hard ground, I too am now open to possibility. No one chooses how I bloom but me! —Kim Thompson I just love that poem! How does it speak to […]