The Latest Wow: The Great Divide
Not long ago, I was counseling a couple when one partner, Tracie, wowed me with this: “There will be days in which I will get mad at you and you will get mad at me but we will resolve it. I don’t want to live a life of avoidance.” Tracie is on to something. […]
Be Brave and Speak Up
Ever find yourself in the midst of a group of people engaged in a bashfest? Some unfortunate individual is being maligned or trashed behind their back. What to do? Join in to feel a part of things? Or stand there, silently uncomfortable? Either choice makes our soul uneasy. It feels like we’re participating in a […]
Love is the Force
“I want her to know she can come to me.” Ben was referring to his twelve-year-old daughter, Madison. He sought my advice because 1) he’s concerned about her grades and 2) he realizes his approach is alienating her. When Ben talks to Madison about her grades, he doesn’t talk. He yells and puts her down. […]
Two to Tango
Passivity invites the other person to take a power position. Maya and Jarel have been dancing the same dance step—or style of relating—for years. He dominates and she obediently yields. She’s tired of it. Not long ago, she was ready to walk out the door, but right at that point he made a dramatic change . […]
The Latest Wow: How to Save a Sinking Ship
“I just learned that the human brain isn’t fully formed until the age of 24. I got married at 20 so, therefore, I wasn’t in my right mind.” This little gem—which activated my uncontrollable-laughter-impulse—fell straight from the lips of Anna, a client experiencing a bit of disillusionment in her marriage. Not at all unfamiliar territory […]
Avoid the Muck and Guck
I found a perfect piece of advice for those of us who try to fix someone else’s distorted thinking. It’s an old Russian proverb that says: “Don’t drive a car straight down a crooked road.” Easier said than done, especially if we’re the target of someone’s erroneous accusations. At those times, it’s extremely difficult […]
The Latest Wow: Where Life is
Not long ago, Todd, a client, wowed me with this: “I want to be the type of person who loves others above myself. I know that’s where life is.” Todd lives in a self-contained sphere that doesn’t include other people. He’s not a hermit—living an isolated existence. Far from it. He’s a husband, father, […]
Life’s the Teacher
“Truth cannot be borrowed. It can only be experienced.” Thich Nhat Hanh One of the hardest things to endure is watching a loved one suffer and being unable to teach them the life lessons we’ve learned. We’ve all been there, and we all end up pulling our hair out in utter frustration when our best […]
Latest Wow: Ripe for Manipulation
“I don’t like to confront, so I’m easy to manipulate.” That “WOW” came from a mid-fortyish male client. He didn’t realize it, but he nailed a common human problem. Many of us don’t like to confront. Why are we so squeamish about confronting someone … even when it’s appropriate? There’s a wide variety of reasons. […]
Our Favorite Illusion
Some dreamy-eyed part of us clings to the illusion that through a sheer act of will we can change another human being. Such misguided thinking is as unrealistic as believing we can get a walnut tree to start producing apples. For six years Sonya has asked her husband—who works in the remodeling industry—to fix the […]