Raw Truth from Teens
Let’s dispel a common myth about teenagers. They actually yearn to communicate with their parents, despite evidence to the contrary. But communication must be a two-way street, and for a vast number of teenagers, that isn’t happening. It’s not so much a refusal to open up—instead, their silence is often rooted in discouragement because of […]
Latest Wow: Goodbye to Insane Guilt
I remember when Vanessa wowed me with this one: “I’ve spent 30 years hating myself, and I’m tired of it. I need to learn how to love myself.” Self-loathing wasn’t something Vanessa was born with. It was learned. When we were babies, we had no innate sense of disgust with ourselves. If our rattle fell […]
Will it Last?
“If only I could see into the future. I keep wondering if we’ll be together.” Abby has a new love in her life. He treats her well, they laugh, play and enjoy many of the same things. Secretly though, she’s consumed by fears of it not lasting. “Right now your relationship with Tyler is only […]
Fake Love
“We need in love to practice only this: letting each other go. For holding on comes easily—we do not need to learn it.” ~ Rainer Maria Rilke “If she leaves me, I’ll die—I’ll have nothing to live for. She’s everything to me—she’s my life!” Jeremy, 27, is panicked over the possibility of losing his […]
Over It
Holly told me she wasn’t suicidal. I disagreed. “I guess you’re right,” she said after some thought. “I’ve been killing myself off for years.” Holly was referring to staying with a man who frequently deflates her spirit—her husband, Lance. She related the events of an evening they had some friends over. When it was time […]
Listen to Your Soul
So much about our world today is making our souls shudder. I’m referring to things like unleashed hatred, brazen condemnation of differences, unbridled exploitation, an emerging epidemic of violence, rudeness and disrespect in all forms. Increasingly, we’re seeing that a cold-hearted mentality is valued—even admired—over a kind and warm heart. These disturbing elements have been around […]
You’re not Crazy!
Ever been around someone who makes you question your sanity because there’s no working things out? Every attempt to reason with them fails miserably . . . nothing works. Presenting facts doesn’t work. Even staying composed doesn’t work. Those hair-pulling moments can reduce a person to a pitiful pile of frustration and self-doubt in a […]
The Making of a Narcissist
Letting people experience the consequences of their actions is the loving thing to do. Rescuing people interferes with the lesson plan in the classroom we call life. Sarah wishes she would have had that valuable piece of information when her son, Colby, was a toddler. But today he’s 22, and she’s paying a hefty price for […]
Don’t Step In It
Anyone who takes an occasional walk will tell you that poop is out there — count on it! For several months we’ve been seeing a lot of it everywhere, especially flung between the presidential candidates. That doesn’t mean it isn’t possible to rise above the fray! Here’s an example: A professor of engineering walked into his classroom […]
The Unhappy Chameleon
Doug wowed me with this in one of our sessions: “I always wanted to blend in . . . like a chameleon.” Then looking away reflectively, he added, “You know, it takes a hell of a lot of energy to change my colors.” He’s right. So why do we do it? It’s all about making sure we’re […]