Make YOU Happy
Jill and Trent have been in a relationship for a long time. They love each other very deeply and treasure their time spent together. The problem? Trent can’t leave his former girlfriend, Laura. He doesn’t love her, but he can’t bring himself to cause her pain. Trent is one of those people who easily—too easily—feels guilty and […]
Stuck in Anger
A client of mine—I’ll call her Anna—shared this tidbit by Garrison Keillor: “When you’re angry at people, you make them part of your life.” That’s so true! Prolonged anger usually has a focus, and that focus usually involves a particular person. I can’t imagine being angry at my printer for two weeks—20 minutes yes, but […]
Keep Your Mouth Shut! Really?
Numerous times in our lifetime—no, in a single day—we’re faced with a dilemma: Do I open my mouth or keep it zipped? Do I take the risk or play it safe? It’s not easy being verbally courageous. I fail at it more times than I succeed. But when I do succeed, it leaves me feeling […]
Getting Naked
We all carry around our share of shame-debris. That is, unless we grew up in a perfect environment with perfect parents, perfect siblings, perfect everybody, or—let’s face it—planted on a perfect planet. Recently, I discovered a video where Brené Brown makes us feel pretty normal about our shame. She also makes us feel normal about our […]
She Turned Me Into a Puppet … But Puppets Can’t Love
“She turned me into a puppet, and then wondered why I no longer loved her. The answer is simple—a puppet doesn’t have a heart.” “As men, we share a single purpose: to find that one special female who will kill us just slowly enough that by the time we reach 80, we’re already dead.” To read […]
Dare to Cry
“Tears are a sign of a soul feeling awake.” — Michael Meade I love that quote because it slams the notion that something is wrong with shedding tears. In truth, something is probably wrong if we don’t. Like so many of us, I learned at an early age that tears aren’t acceptable, and that they stand […]
She Married Her Brother
Not really. Sheri married a man who puts her down just like her brother used to. What I really mean when I say she married her older brother is that she’s married to a pattern that began in childhood. That pattern consists of being zapped with a negative comment—like an accusation—and then reacting to it […]
The Latest Wow: Stay Out of the Mud!
Sometimes, we have to make the same mistake a bazillion times before we wake up. It’s downright humiliating! One of my clients knows this experience all too well. His mistake was assuming responsibility for the happiness of others. Since this just can’t work, he was continually banging his head against the wall. In time he woke up! I knew it when he wowed […]
Get in Touch with Your Inner Teenager
Let’s face it, there’s something about our teenage spirit we miss. Yes, back then we were reckless–even stupid at times, but there was something horrendously precious about it, too. Call it our free spirit, our drive, our passion. How do we recover that spirit? Maybe the answer lies in recovering that which we abandoned amid […]
The Golden Rule in Reverse
“Don’t let other people treat you the way you wouldn’t treat them.” This is what I recently said to Stanley, who never objects to disrespectful treatment from key people in his life. He swallows it … and suffers for it. Kind-hearted by nature, he’s respectful in all his dealings with others. He wouldn’t, COULDN’T, hurt […]