“She turned me into a puppet, and then wondered why I no longer loved her. The answer is simple—a puppet doesn’t have a heart.”
“As men, we share a single purpose: to find that one special female who will kill us just slowly enough that by the time we reach 80, we’re already dead.”
To read more about Gordon’s struggle and eventual liberation, click here.
Gordon’s story isn’t that unusual. For example, Trey—a recent client—uttered these words to his girlfriend in his therapy session: “I don’t want to be nit-picked to death.” He went on to say that he was rethinking whether he wanted to stay in the relationship. “I’m tired of being beaten down all the time,” he explained.
“I don’t see how I make you feel that way,” she replied.
I loved his straight-to-the-point response: “You do it by expecting the worst out of me all the time.”
In that relationship, Trey felt he could never do anything right. He fell into the trap of making futile, exhaustive attempts at attaining her approval before finally realizing: “It’s not me, it’s her. She wants to see me as flawed.”
Like Gordon, Trey tried to make the relationship work by altering himself—by keeping his girlfriend appeased. It turned him into a puppet—an empty shell.
After that session, Trey broke up with his girlfriend. He came to understand that no woman—no matter how special—is worth the loss of his essential being.
Names are changed to honor client confidentiality.