“Don’t let other people treat you the way you wouldn’t treat them.”
This is what I recently said to Stanley, who never objects to disrespectful treatment from key people in his life. He swallows it … and suffers for it.
Kind-hearted by nature, he’s respectful in all his dealings with others. He wouldn’t, COULDN’T, hurt a flea if forced to. But there are those in his life who don’t mirror that characteristic. When I asked him why he doesn’t stand up for himself, he said, “It’s what I’ve come to know.”
Said so well! Stanley’s succinct comment speaks to all of us. Programmed from early childhood, we tend to behave and react in ways that echo what we’ve come to know. To step outside that box takes us out of our comfort zone, and as we all know, leaving our comfort zone isn’t one of things we crave in life—we resist it like the plague.
For the remainder of our session, Stanley and I explored the ways his comfort zone existence has hurt and hindered him. I knew we were getting somewhere when he said, “I can see that I need to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. That’s the only way I’ll dig myself out of this hole.”
Click here to read about Deanna with a similar problem and the advice I gave her . . . .
2 responses to “The Golden Rule in Reverse”
I like how you said we have to step out of our box and be kind to ourselves. It’s sad to think we have to step out into unfamiliar territory to be compassionate to ourselves. It should be familiar territory. The Buddha said, we, referring to ourselves, are the most deserving person in all of the universe of our very own compassion.
I’ve been exploring what this means and realizing where I self-sabotage because I am not loving myself. I truly can see I would never treat a friend the way I treat myself. I see how giving my power away is soo hurtful to myself. I am now stepping out of my box and loving me. Life is much happier, and flows better when I love me. I can be playful and enjoy my relationship with MAH. It’s fun.
P.S. I love you, too. 🙂
I love that! Thanks for posting your thought/experience.