Not to Upset the Family Bully, but . . .
I just have to share something with you. As a writer, I follow several blogs, one by author Kristen Lamb. She captured my attention in a recent post about bullying. Actually, she’s been cranking out post after post on that subject. In one she mentions “family bullying.” Here’s the quote that grabbed me: For every […]
She Swallowed A Lie
Depression and dissatisfaction with your life may be direct feedback from your inner guidance system telling you that you’re not fulfilling your true nature. Branches on a young bonsai tree are wired down and shaped to conform to a fixed design. In time, the wires are no longer necessary. The bonsai will hold its forged […]
Thoughts of Suicide
In my previous post, Banished from Her Mother’s Heart, I talked about Michelle, who was dealing with her mom’s rejection. In this post, I want to introduce you to Scott. Like Michelle, he marched to the beat of his own drum, and likewise suffered rejection, primarily from his dad. Scott’s gay, and his father couldn’t […]
Banished from her Mother’s Heart
“Your mother is good for you,” I said. “Her disapproval is forcing you to become immune to disapproving attitudes. Unbeknownst to her, she’s stretching you to become self-accepting and to believe in yourself.” Michele followed the beat of her own drum, and her family shunned her for it—especially her mother. Parental disapproval, at any age, can […]
Screwed Up But Healthy
I just had to laugh when Beth—referring to her progress—said this in a recent session: “I’m still screwed up, but in a healthy way.” To say the least, I was puzzled by that comment, so I asked, “What do you mean?” “I’m the product of a dysfunctional household,” she said. “But I’m in a much healthier […]
Guilt is a Cruel Dictator
Beth feels guilty because she doesn’t want her mother to watch her 2-year-old son. She would prefer to use her mother-in-law, her husband Sam’s mom. Why? Because Beth doesn’t want her son to be exposed to the same belittling treatment she experienced as a child. Beth feels strongly about her position, but teeters at times. […]
Reject Spirit Zappers
When we tune in to the outrage of being violated, no matter what the degree, it’s the beginning of putting up a protective shield. We’re designed to be invested in self-preservation. It appears that for the duration of our lifetime, we’re assigned to one person to fully watch over, to love unconditionally, and bathe with […]
The Cookie War
It’s not about the power another person wields or takes; it’s about the power we surrender. That is what I conveyed to Amy in our counseling session. She needed an answer for dealing with her demeaning husband, and it didn’t entail placating him or being little around him. It entailed boldly standing up for herself. Read […]
Stuck in Anger
A client of mine—I’ll call her Anna—shared this tidbit by Garrison Keillor: “When you’re angry at people, you make them part of your life.” That’s so true! Prolonged anger usually has a focus, and that focus usually involves a particular person. I can’t imagine being angry at my printer for two weeks—20 minutes yes, but […]
Keep Your Mouth Shut! Really?
Numerous times in our lifetime—no, in a single day—we’re faced with a dilemma: Do I open my mouth or keep it zipped? Do I take the risk or play it safe? It’s not easy being verbally courageous. I fail at it more times than I succeed. But when I do succeed, it leaves me feeling […]