A Mother’s Heart
“Making the decision to have a child—it’s momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” —Elizabeth Stone I don’t know about you, but that speaks to me. I have two sons, and although they’re full-fledged adults now, they’re never far from my heart-thoughts. From the earliest days […]
Poke the Tiger
“I pray every night that God will take my life.” Vince, 56, apparently would rather die than leave a life-sucking relationship. He’s been with his wife, Gail, for eight years. And for the bulk of that time he’s been unhappy, merely enduring his existence instead of living. In our counseling session, he depicted Gail as […]
Over It
Holly told me she wasn’t suicidal. I disagreed. “I guess you’re right,” she said after some thought. “I’ve been killing myself off for years.” Holly was referring to staying with a man who frequently deflates her spirit—her husband, Lance. She related the events of an evening they had some friends over. When it was time […]
Listen to Your Soul
So much about our world today is making our souls shudder. I’m referring to things like unleashed hatred, brazen condemnation of differences, unbridled exploitation, an emerging epidemic of violence, rudeness and disrespect in all forms. Increasingly, we’re seeing that a cold-hearted mentality is valued—even admired—over a kind and warm heart. These disturbing elements have been around […]
Love Shouldn’t be a Prison, and True Love Isn’t
Since this is the month we celebrate Valentine’s Day, I thought I’d dust off one of my favorites from several years ago that seemed to resonate with many people. Even if you’ve been following me from the beginning, this one’s worth a second look: One thing that assures a long-lasting relationship is kindness—each partner treating the […]
You’re not Crazy!
Ever been around someone who makes you question your sanity because there’s no working things out? Every attempt to reason with them fails miserably . . . nothing works. Presenting facts doesn’t work. Even staying composed doesn’t work. Those hair-pulling moments can reduce a person to a pitiful pile of frustration and self-doubt in a […]
The Making of a Narcissist
Letting people experience the consequences of their actions is the loving thing to do. Rescuing people interferes with the lesson plan in the classroom we call life. Sarah wishes she would have had that valuable piece of information when her son, Colby, was a toddler. But today he’s 22, and she’s paying a hefty price for […]
Don’t Step In It
Anyone who takes an occasional walk will tell you that poop is out there — count on it! For several months we’ve been seeing a lot of it everywhere, especially flung between the presidential candidates. That doesn’t mean it isn’t possible to rise above the fray! Here’s an example: A professor of engineering walked into his classroom […]
The Unhappy Chameleon
Doug wowed me with this in one of our sessions: “I always wanted to blend in . . . like a chameleon.” Then looking away reflectively, he added, “You know, it takes a hell of a lot of energy to change my colors.” He’s right. So why do we do it? It’s all about making sure we’re […]
Listen to Your Grumpy Self
“I was grumpy when I got up and then I took it out on my kids,” Lori said. “I was just lazy and didn’t want to get up.” Lori had a good reason for wanting to stay in bed a little bit longer. She had worked late the night before. She needed the rest. But something […]