It’s Called Freedom
“Cherish your visions and your dreams as they are the children of your soul, the blueprints of your ultimate achievements.” –Napoleon Hill At an early age, we were programmed and shaped by our parents and other key people. It’s our job to disentangle ourselves from the limitations of all that indoctrination. My thoughts turn to […]
Don’t Take the Bait
When Jim returned home from his Saturday fishing trip, his wife, Marlene, was withdrawn—cold as ice. Alas, the all too familiar silent treatment had set in. He asked Marlene if there was a problem. With her head turned away, she murmured a mere, “No.” Remaining calm and unaffected, he said, “Well, you’re not acting as […]
You Really Do Know What’s True
Proceeding wisely through life requires a sharply focused awareness of our emotions. Being blind to them handicaps our ability to take effective action in any given situation. Let’s say, as a small child, you hear a loud noise. Instinctively, you place your hands over your ears. Then you’re told, “It’s not too loud.” Let’s say […]
Thank You, Daddy
Whether you’re a grown-up or a young child, your father probably occupies a special place in your heart. ♥ Over the years, my clients have shared many thoughts about their fathers with me. One client made me smile with this one: “I remember Sunday mornings listening to records and Dad dancing the polka in stocking feet on the […]
Moving Through Grief
It has been two years since her husband, Trent, died. But to Amy it feels like yesterday. “Why am I grieving?” she lamented. “I thought I was over it.” I answered her simply: “We’re never over love, Amy.” After his fatal car accident, she told herself she must be strong for the children. So she […]
Feed the Lightness
“The evil of our time is the loss of consciousness of evil.” ~Krishnamurti A Wrinkle in Time, a recently released movie based on the book by Madeleine L’Engle, is a magical story about good winning over evil. I found the movie to be a breath of fresh air, providing an element of hope at a […]
Parenting Gumby-Style
Confining adolescents to the basement can be a deliciously tempting idea at times. Melissa feels she’s losing control of Carly, her 12-year-old daughter. Of greater concern: She fears she might be losing her altogether. “We used to be so tight,” Melissa said in our counseling session. “My worst nightmare has been that Carly would someday […]
Why Didn’t they Put Up a Fight?
Larry Nassar sexually assaulted dozens of young female gymnasts under the guise of medical treatment. I’ve read so many critical comments directed at these young women that I felt compelled to respond and offer another perspective. Why didn’t they object? Why didn’t they just push him away while shouting, “No!”? At least two very substantive reasons […]
Courage to Feel Deeply
In some households, tears are taboo. Jill is one of six children. An adult now, she recalls her father being a harsh disciplinarian “who frequently beat us.” When the beatings produced wails and tears, he shamed and belittled them, demanding that they stop. Having to endure horrid, abusive treatment was bad enough, but then they […]
The Seduction of Security
Oh, the soul-numbing effect of living within the confines of the familiar! This was the theme that 41-year-old Angie and I discussed in our counseling session. She came to me wanting help with her depression. “I just can’t seem to shake this no matter what I tell myself,” she said with a sigh. Angie described her […]