Guilt is a Cruel Dictator
Beth feels guilty because she doesn’t want her mother to watch her 2-year-old son. She would prefer to use her mother-in-law, her husband Sam’s mom. Why? Because Beth doesn’t want her son to be exposed to the same belittling treatment she experienced as a child. Beth feels strongly about her position, but teeters at times. […]
Reject Spirit Zappers
When we tune in to the outrage of being violated, no matter what the degree, it’s the beginning of putting up a protective shield. We’re designed to be invested in self-preservation. It appears that for the duration of our lifetime, we’re assigned to one person to fully watch over, to love unconditionally, and bathe with […]
The Cookie War
It’s not about the power another person wields or takes; it’s about the power we surrender. That is what I conveyed to Amy in our counseling session. She needed an answer for dealing with her demeaning husband, and it didn’t entail placating him or being little around him. It entailed boldly standing up for herself. Read […]
The Latest Wow: Waste Your Time
Carlie is an over-achieving teenager. She’s driven to excel academically, athletically and socially. She has trouble with that word “relax.” But in a moment of clarity, she wowed me with this: “I would like to know my future to see if I’m wasting my time, because if I am wasting my time, I want to waste it better.” […]
The Latest Wow: Set Yourself Free!
Here’s a poem written by a client who set herself free: The wind blowing across the sea Makes me wonder what it feels like to be free I am trapped by my memories wondering why I chose that path for me Never letting go of the past, you see always punishing myself indeed […]
Make YOU Happy
Jill and Trent have been in a relationship for a long time. They love each other very deeply and treasure their time spent together. The problem? Trent can’t leave his former girlfriend, Laura. He doesn’t love her, but he can’t bring himself to cause her pain. Trent is one of those people who easily—too easily—feels guilty and […]
Keep Your Mouth Shut! Really?
Numerous times in our lifetime—no, in a single day—we’re faced with a dilemma: Do I open my mouth or keep it zipped? Do I take the risk or play it safe? It’s not easy being verbally courageous. I fail at it more times than I succeed. But when I do succeed, it leaves me feeling […]
Getting Naked
We all carry around our share of shame-debris. That is, unless we grew up in a perfect environment with perfect parents, perfect siblings, perfect everybody, or—let’s face it—planted on a perfect planet. Recently, I discovered a video where Brené Brown makes us feel pretty normal about our shame. She also makes us feel normal about our […]
The Latest Wow: The Power of Love
Remember Beth? I mentioned her in an earlier post. She and Sam got a divorce several months ago but then decided to give it another go. In that post I asked her, “What made you change your mind?” She said, “I’ve discovered that anger fades a lot faster than love.” They’re living together now to discover whether the […]
She Turned Me Into a Puppet … But Puppets Can’t Love
“She turned me into a puppet, and then wondered why I no longer loved her. The answer is simple—a puppet doesn’t have a heart.” “As men, we share a single purpose: to find that one special female who will kill us just slowly enough that by the time we reach 80, we’re already dead.” To read […]