Stay Out of the Mud!
Setting boundaries includes placing limits on what we’re willing to do for others. Sometimes, we make the same mistake a bazillion times before finally waking up. It’s exasperating! One of my clients knows this experience all too well. His mistake was believing he had to rescue other people—mainly women. If they weren’t happy, he felt guilty and responsible. It […]
The Wiser, True You
“The beginning of freedom is the realization that you are not your mind—the thinker. The moment you start watching the thinker, a higher level of consciousness becomes activated.” — Eckart Tolle, The Power of Now I was walking—no, sleepwalking—in the mall one day when I became aware that I was doing a whole lot of judging. […]
You Have a Choice: Walnuts or Apples
Once upon a time, a walnut tree decided to start producing apples instead of walnuts. He was shunned by some and admired by others for his raw courage. He had defied his programming. No question, if this had actually happened, the news of this free-thinking walnut tree would have received world-wide attention in a matter […]
Cultivate Self-Compassion
“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.” […]
Don’t Grin and Bear It!
Out for a walk one day, I was struck by how natural it is for animals to protect themselves from harm. Their survival instinct doesn’t seem cluttered with emotional logjams such as second-guessing, guilt, or denial. At the first sign of danger, without the slightest hesitation, a bird will take flight. Likewise, rabbits hop away to safety. […]
Gifts that Endure
A gift is defined by how it impacts the heart. Sadly, we’re hypnotized by ad campaigns that tie the act of gift-giving to the act of spending money. In fact, the more money spent, the greater the perceived value of the gift—and the greater proof of love. Something has definitely gone awry when the measure […]
Latest Wow: Anger’s a Mask We Wear
“I don’t mind being the bitch … it gives me boundaries. It protects me from how vulnerable, wrong, and empty I feel inside.” This was the first session Kate’s focus went inward. Before that, her focus had been on her outer enemies. Kate’s wow—one of many—had me jumping out of my seat that day! It was exciting to be part […]
Husband and Doormat
The problem with walking on eggshells is that it imprisons you, and nothing gets better. That was my response to Naomi in our counseling session. She habitually succumbs to her hot-tempered husband. “I’m careful about everything I say because, well, he gets ugly if I tell him what he doesn’t want to hear,” she said. […]
Leaving Your Cage
A cage is anything that confines, reduces, inhibits or limits us. This includes our distorted ideas about ourselves. In Meet Your True Self, my previous post, Brad woke up to the fact that his inner roommate, also known as an inner critic, was a liar. In that mere flash of an instant, Brad freed himself from a […]
Meet Your True Self
When you’re harassed by guilt and self-judgment, you’re vacating your true self . . . and you’re vacating truth. Period. In my last post, Escape your Jungle, I defined the true self and how it can easily become overshadowed by a bogus self-concept—based on erroneous beliefs about ourselves. Donna was my example. Her negative conclusions about herself […]