Life’s the Teacher
“Truth cannot be borrowed. It can only be experienced.” Thich Nhat Hanh One of the hardest things to endure is watching a loved one suffer and being unable to teach them the life lessons we’ve learned. We’ve all been there, and we all end up pulling our hair out in utter frustration when our best […]
Finding the Right Someone
A relationship that’s right for us is one that sets our spirit free. Hey … Valentine’s Day is right around the bend, so it’s a good time to take a look at love—up close—and contemplate its meaning … just what the heck is it? Finding a solid definition of love is fuzzy. There are probably […]
Free to Leave
“A grain of sand becomes a beach in a millisecond.” Marta—my client—was talking about her over-reactive, hot-tempered husband who makes mountains out of mole hills. Add suspicion, an appetite for power, and alcohol to the mix and you have a potentially dangerous man. Not long ago, he became just that. It all started when she […]
Solitude . . . Savor it!
Snowstorms have some important lessons to teach us. First of all, they show us that the amount of control we have is pretty meager. Humbling, eh? Second, they tell us that there’s something bigger out there. (It doesn’t hurt to be reminded of that from time to time.) But there’s another lesson that struck me […]
Dominated by Guilt
Guilt, just like anger, is often used as a tool to manipulate. Last week I offered one reason why we refrain from speaking up or confronting another person. It’s the fear of igniting a thunderstorm. Another reason is guilt. One of my teenage clients, Allie, put it perfectly: “I don’t know how to stand up […]
Not to Upset the Family Bully, but . . .
I just have to share something with you. As a writer, I follow several blogs, one by author Kristen Lamb. She captured my attention in a recent post about bullying. Actually, she’s been cranking out post after post on that subject. In one she mentions “family bullying.” Here’s the quote that grabbed me: For every […]
Recreate You … To Your Liking
This is the time of the year when we pause amidst our habituated routines and consider making life changes. When it comes to my clients, I typically ask two questions: “How do you want your life to look?” and “How are you hindering that … getting in your own way?” It’s impossible to act on […]
Latest Wow: Face the Truth About Yourself
“The bad thing about not liking myself is not being able to get away from myself. I can’t just go into the next room.” Anna was being her usual witty self when she made that comment in my office but, sadly, she meant it. Also sad is the fact that a multitude of people feel […]
The Latest Wow: Rebellion’s Treasure
Not long ago, a client—in her 40s—wowed me with this: “Rebellion, at any age, is a means of repositioning ourselves with our parents.” I can only agree. I’ve come to see that the good side of rebellion is that it allows us to break into new horizons of empowerment—to transcend existing limits. Another client, Sonya, further […]
Don’t Settle for a Ho-hum Life
At a young age, we begin the habit of limping in order to harmonize with friends, our family, a job, a social order. By the time we’re adults, it’s become so much a part of us that we do it unthinkingly—automatically. To stop doing it now would be jolting because we’re used to it. But […]