Latest Wow: Face the Truth About Yourself
“The bad thing about not liking myself is not being able to get away from myself. I can’t just go into the next room.” Anna was being her usual witty self when she made that comment in my office but, sadly, she meant it. Also sad is the fact that a multitude of people feel […]
The Latest Wow: “Get over it!” Really?
According to the late theologian Paul Tillich, “The first duty of love is to listen.” I rank listening right up there at the top of requirements for a well-running relationship. This includes love partnerships, parent-child relationships, friendships … you name it. Listening is a lot bigger than the mere act of hearing with our ears. […]
You Always Hurt the One You Love
Walls go up around the heart when we’re treated harshly. Eventually, bitterness replaces the tender love that was once there. Claire was starting to feel that way toward her husband, Joe, when she sought my help. “He’s constantly critical and demeaning to me!” she said. “It has to change! I’m too miserable to have it […]
Keeping the Peace Backfires
“It has to change! I can’t take it anymore.” Liza was referring to her marriage. “If I don’t conform to how Stuart wants me to be, or if I don’t agree with how he sees things, he get’s furious,” she said. “And if he doesn’t get his way, he get’s stormy.” Liza was describing life […]
Reject Spirit Zappers
When we tune in to the outrage of being violated, no matter what the degree, it’s the beginning of putting up a protective shield. We’re designed to be invested in self-preservation. It appears that for the duration of our lifetime, we’re assigned to one person to fully watch over, to love unconditionally, and bathe with […]
The Cookie War
It’s not about the power another person wields or takes; it’s about the power we surrender. That is what I conveyed to Amy in our counseling session. She needed an answer for dealing with her demeaning husband, and it didn’t entail placating him or being little around him. It entailed boldly standing up for herself. Read […]
The Latest Wow: Fire Your Inner Critic!
I had a client tell me once: “Every time I put myself down, I’m affirming that my mother was right.” Click here to read about Dawn and Doug and how their childhoods were fertile soil for the formation of negative self-talk and low self-worth.
Stuck in Anger
A client of mine—I’ll call her Anna—shared this tidbit by Garrison Keillor: “When you’re angry at people, you make them part of your life.” That’s so true! Prolonged anger usually has a focus, and that focus usually involves a particular person. I can’t imagine being angry at my printer for two weeks—20 minutes yes, but […]
Keep Your Mouth Shut! Really?
Numerous times in our lifetime—no, in a single day—we’re faced with a dilemma: Do I open my mouth or keep it zipped? Do I take the risk or play it safe? It’s not easy being verbally courageous. I fail at it more times than I succeed. But when I do succeed, it leaves me feeling […]
She Turned Me Into a Puppet … But Puppets Can’t Love
“She turned me into a puppet, and then wondered why I no longer loved her. The answer is simple—a puppet doesn’t have a heart.” “As men, we share a single purpose: to find that one special female who will kill us just slowly enough that by the time we reach 80, we’re already dead.” To read […]