Love Me Tender
Some people believe they’re detestable. In fact, the thought of being worthy of love and accepted–even cherished!–for who they are at the root level seems unfathomable to them. That’s not how it’s supposed to be. We’re supposed to be content with ourselves. So where do low self-opinions come from? Children internalize or see themselves as […]
Planting the Seeds
In passing, I overheard a heart-sinking exchange between a father and son. “Hey, Dad, what’s Grandpa’s phone number?” His father frowned. “What’s the matter with you? You know the number—you call it all the time! Are you a retard?” If it pained me to bear witness to such harshness, I can only imagine its impact […]
Say Good-bye to Bullies
Don’t put up with bullying just because it’s been your habit since day one and is therefore insanely comfortable. That was my advice to Nicole who endures verbal abuse from her boss on a regular basis. She’s always belittling her in front of the other employees. For example, she’ll blast her for missing deadlines and […]
Unexpected Gift
“I don’t take responsibility for what’s going on in your head.” That’s what Gordon wishes he had said when his girlfriend completely misinterpreted him . . . again. It all started when she called to tell him how bored and miserable she was at work. According to the work schedule, she had the day off, […]
Don’t Take the Bait
When Jim returned home from his Saturday fishing trip, his wife, Marlene, was withdrawn—cold as ice. Alas, the all too familiar silent treatment had set in. He asked Marlene if there was a problem. With her head turned away, she murmured a mere, “No.” Remaining calm and unaffected, he said, “Well, you’re not acting as […]
Feed the Lightness
“The evil of our time is the loss of consciousness of evil.” ~Krishnamurti A Wrinkle in Time, a recently released movie based on the book by Madeleine L’Engle, is a magical story about good winning over evil. I found the movie to be a breath of fresh air, providing an element of hope at a […]
Why Didn’t they Put Up a Fight?
Larry Nassar sexually assaulted dozens of young female gymnasts under the guise of medical treatment. I’ve read so many critical comments directed at these young women that I felt compelled to respond and offer another perspective. Why didn’t they object? Why didn’t they just push him away while shouting, “No!”? At least two very substantive reasons […]
Courage to Feel Deeply
In some households, tears are taboo. Jill is one of six children. An adult now, she recalls her father being a harsh disciplinarian “who frequently beat us.” When the beatings produced wails and tears, he shamed and belittled them, demanding that they stop. Having to endure horrid, abusive treatment was bad enough, but then they […]
My Girlfriend Is a Bully
Avoid people who don’t care what they do to you. Picture a large, ugly, brutish ogre who frequently pummels people over the head with a club. More than likely, he’ll be catered to because doing so will make things a trillion times more pleasant than the alternative. Standing up to him will have the same […]
Nope … the Ring Won’t Change Him
Steer clear of people who fail to take an honest look at themselves. Do you really want to be with a person who can’t be reasoned with, who doesn’t take an honest look in the mirror, and who flies into a rage at the mere drop of a hat? That was the question I asked […]