Wanted: A Gentle Caveman
Knowing how to love a woman isn’t rocket science. Or is it? Over the years, as a counselor, numerous men have sought my advice about women. They want to know how to navigate the baffling pathway to a woman’s heart. Whether dating or in a long-term relationship, it’s not uncommon for a guy to […]
Parenting Gumby-Style
Confining adolescents to the basement can be a deliciously tempting idea at times. Melissa feels she’s losing control of Carly, her 12-year-old daughter. Of greater concern: She fears she might be losing her altogether. “We used to be so tight,” Melissa said in our counseling session. “My worst nightmare has been that Carly would someday […]
My Girlfriend Is a Bully
Avoid people who don’t care what they do to you. Picture a large, ugly, brutish ogre who frequently pummels people over the head with a club. More than likely, he’ll be catered to because doing so will make things a trillion times more pleasant than the alternative. Standing up to him will have the same […]
Nope … the Ring Won’t Change Him
Steer clear of people who fail to take an honest look at themselves. Do you really want to be with a person who can’t be reasoned with, who doesn’t take an honest look in the mirror, and who flies into a rage at the mere drop of a hat? That was the question I asked […]
Husband and Doormat
The problem with walking on eggshells is that it imprisons you, and nothing gets better. That was my response to Naomi in our counseling session. She habitually succumbs to her hot-tempered husband. “I’m careful about everything I say because, well, he gets ugly if I tell him what he doesn’t want to hear,” she said. […]
Fishing with My Little Brother
Everyone knows dads come in all shapes and sizes . . . but they also come in assorted forms. Lots of children are fortunate enough to have a man—who isn’t their biological father—step into that role. They may either supplement what Dad is doing or, perhaps, fill in the gap where Dad is literally […]
Love is the Force
“I want her to know she can come to me.” Ben was referring to his twelve-year-old daughter, Madison. He sought my advice because 1) he’s concerned about her grades and 2) he realizes his approach is alienating her. When Ben talks to Madison about her grades, he doesn’t talk. He yells and puts her down. […]
Love Can’t Thrive in a Cage
“If you really love me, you’ll be true to yourself!” Say that to your partner and watch their jaw drop to the floor. Why? Because we usually get the opposite message: “If you really love me, you’ll do what I want. You’ll do back flips—on the ceiling!—to please me.” Has anyone ever tried to […]
Meet Your Roommate
Suppose you had a roommate who constantly scrutinized and critiqued your every move starting with the moment you got out of bed: “You should have gotten up earlier. Are you ignoring today’s schedule? Your hair’s a mess . . . as usual. Don’t forget to contact Jonathan today. He expects a call, you know. […]
Life’s the Teacher
“Truth cannot be borrowed. It can only be experienced.” Thich Nhat Hanh One of the hardest things to endure is watching a loved one suffer and being unable to teach them the life lessons we’ve learned. We’ve all been there, and we all end up pulling our hair out in utter frustration when our best […]