You’re not Crazy!
Ever been around someone who makes you question your sanity because there’s no working things out? Every attempt to reason with them fails miserably . . . nothing works. Presenting facts doesn’t work. Even staying composed doesn’t work. Those hair-pulling moments can reduce a person to a pitiful pile of frustration and self-doubt in a […]
The Unhappy Chameleon
Doug wowed me with this in one of our sessions: “I always wanted to blend in . . . like a chameleon.” Then looking away reflectively, he added, “You know, it takes a hell of a lot of energy to change my colors.” He’s right. So why do we do it? It’s all about making sure we’re […]
It’s a Ducking Habit
Tish shines when she’s with her friends and coworkers, but around her boss she loses that shine. “I go small the minute I step into her office!” she said. “I’m just like someone who’s been physically abused—I duck!” Tish’s boss and her parents have some things in common. Her parents didn’t invite or make it […]
The New Normal?
The spectacle we call the debates has me in a constant state of revulsion and bewilderment. What happened? What has gone awry? We all have our theories and there’s probably an element of truth to most, but what concerns me is our apparent collective departure from courtesy and kindness. Call it good old-fashioned respect. Instead, […]
Call it Parent Power!
Laura’s petrified that her teenage daughter may be headed down a dangerous path. While she and Kaitlyn sat across from each other in my office, Laura rattled off her string of concerns. Among her worries were slipping grades, Kaitlin’s recent choice of friends—some have been in trouble with the law—and a controlling boyfriend who habitually puts […]
“How Do I Fix Us?”
“Why am I the last to find out? I didn’t know my wife was unhappy. She never told me!” I had to tell him the truth. “Yes, she did, Todd. There were clues. You just weren’t seeing them.” Beth had grown quiet and distant in his presence. In contrast, she was lively and talkative around […]
Love’s Magic
The heart is a weapon of mass construction. A light bulb finally turned on in my head one day. It was the wiser part of me saying: Okay, Salee, if you’re brilliant enough to know something isn’t right, then you should be brilliant enough to do something about it. In other words: Speak up! I’ve learned […]
Real Strength
I like what Sydney Harris, the late American journalist, had to say: “People who are proud of being brutally frank rarely admit they are more gratified by the brutality than by the frankness.” Personally, I don’t think there’s anything admirable about stomping on someone’s dignity. It’s easy to be offensive and degrading. It’s much more […]
The Truth about Tears
“Only strong people allow themselves to feel pain.” –Heather, 16 If you haven’t watched the movie Inside Out, drop everything and head for a theater immediately! The story takes place inside the head of 11-year-old Riley, where five key characters reside—all representing her main emotions: Joy, Fear, Disgust, Anger, and Sadness. The story carries a […]
Ooooo … when love blooms!
Is your brain marinating in a cocktail of hormones and giddiness? If so, it’s probably love . . . new love! New love is the budding stage of something potentially profound between two people. And just as a flower bud is fragile, the same is true of love. Both must be treated with tender loving […]