Did You Spit on Somebody’s Pet Turtle?
If a third grader got in your face, accusing you of spitting on his pet turtle, you would be thinking: Well now, that’s pure ridiculousness. I’ve never been near his pet turtle and, for that matter, I didn’t even know he had one. Being perceived wrongly is an opportunity to practice believing in yourself. So […]
Don’t be Bullied by Guilt
Just as there are good and bad bacteria, good and bad cholesterol, there’s also good and bad guilt. Good guilt guides us in making wise choices. Bad guilt is the bully in our head that has a knack for running our lives…and sometimes right off the rails. Tessa is a perfect example: She’s been embracing […]
Planting the Seeds
In passing, I overheard a heart-sinking exchange between a father and son. “Hey, Dad, what’s Grandpa’s phone number?” His father frowned. “What’s the matter with you? You know the number—you call it all the time! Are you a retard?” If it pained me to bear witness to such harshness, I can only imagine its impact […]
Don’t Take the Bait
When Jim returned home from his Saturday fishing trip, his wife, Marlene, was withdrawn—cold as ice. Alas, the all too familiar silent treatment had set in. He asked Marlene if there was a problem. With her head turned away, she murmured a mere, “No.” Remaining calm and unaffected, he said, “Well, you’re not acting as […]
Moving Through Grief
It has been two years since her husband, Trent, died. But to Amy it feels like yesterday. “Why am I grieving?” she lamented. “I thought I was over it.” I answered her simply: “We’re never over love, Amy.” After his fatal car accident, she told herself she must be strong for the children. So she […]
Feed the Lightness
“The evil of our time is the loss of consciousness of evil.” ~Krishnamurti A Wrinkle in Time, a recently released movie based on the book by Madeleine L’Engle, is a magical story about good winning over evil. I found the movie to be a breath of fresh air, providing an element of hope at a […]
Parenting Gumby-Style
Confining adolescents to the basement can be a deliciously tempting idea at times. Melissa feels she’s losing control of Carly, her 12-year-old daughter. Of greater concern: She fears she might be losing her altogether. “We used to be so tight,” Melissa said in our counseling session. “My worst nightmare has been that Carly would someday […]
She Wasn’t Being Silly
Paralyzed with fear, Kathleen stopped suddenly in her tracks. The trail she was hiking with her husband, Zach, had come to an unexpected fork. They were assured, back at the visitors center, that all trails would be clearly marked. For the most part, that proved to be true, but definitely not now. Zach motioned to the […]
Raw Truth from Teens
Let’s dispel a common myth about teenagers. They actually yearn to communicate with their parents, despite evidence to the contrary. But communication must be a two-way street, and for a vast number of teenagers, that isn’t happening. It’s not so much a refusal to open up—instead, their silence is often rooted in discouragement because of […]
Poke the Tiger
“I pray every night that God will take my life.” Vince, 56, apparently would rather die than leave a life-sucking relationship. He’s been with his wife, Gail, for eight years. And for the bulk of that time he’s been unhappy, merely enduring his existence instead of living. In our counseling session, he depicted Gail as […]