The Seduction of Security
Oh, the soul-numbing effect of living within the confines of the familiar! This was the theme that 41-year-old Angie and I discussed in our counseling session. She came to me wanting help with her depression. “I just can’t seem to shake this no matter what I tell myself,” she said with a sigh. Angie described her […]
Latest Wow: Goodbye to Insane Guilt
I remember when Vanessa wowed me with this one: “I’ve spent 30 years hating myself, and I’m tired of it. I need to learn how to love myself.” Self-loathing wasn’t something Vanessa was born with. It was learned. When we were babies, we had no innate sense of disgust with ourselves. If our rattle fell […]
Will it Last?
“If only I could see into the future. I keep wondering if we’ll be together.” Abby has a new love in her life. He treats her well, they laugh, play and enjoy many of the same things. Secretly though, she’s consumed by fears of it not lasting. “Right now your relationship with Tyler is only […]
Listen to Your Soul
So much about our world today is making our souls shudder. I’m referring to things like unleashed hatred, brazen condemnation of differences, unbridled exploitation, an emerging epidemic of violence, rudeness and disrespect in all forms. Increasingly, we’re seeing that a cold-hearted mentality is valued—even admired—over a kind and warm heart. These disturbing elements have been around […]
You’re not Crazy!
Ever been around someone who makes you question your sanity because there’s no working things out? Every attempt to reason with them fails miserably . . . nothing works. Presenting facts doesn’t work. Even staying composed doesn’t work. Those hair-pulling moments can reduce a person to a pitiful pile of frustration and self-doubt in a […]
Don’t Step In It
Anyone who takes an occasional walk will tell you that poop is out there — count on it! For several months we’ve been seeing a lot of it everywhere, especially flung between the presidential candidates. That doesn’t mean it isn’t possible to rise above the fray! Here’s an example: A professor of engineering walked into his classroom […]
Stay Out of the Mud!
Setting boundaries includes placing limits on what we’re willing to do for others. Sometimes, we make the same mistake a bazillion times before finally waking up. It’s exasperating! One of my clients knows this experience all too well. His mistake was believing he had to rescue other people—mainly women. If they weren’t happy, he felt guilty and responsible. It […]
You Have a Choice: Walnuts or Apples
Once upon a time, a walnut tree decided to start producing apples instead of walnuts. He was shunned by some and admired by others for his raw courage. He had defied his programming. No question, if this had actually happened, the news of this free-thinking walnut tree would have received world-wide attention in a matter […]
Cool, Calm, Gutsy Courage
“What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us.” Emerson Imagine being in your car at an intersection, waiting for the light to change. It seems forever . . . and your mind drifts. In other words, you’ve stopped paying attention, but the driver behind you […]
Cultivate Self-Compassion
“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.” […]