Banished from her Mother’s Heart
“Your mother is good for you,” I said. “Her disapproval is forcing you to become immune to disapproving attitudes. Unbeknownst to her, she’s stretching you to become self-accepting and to believe in yourself.” Michele followed the beat of her own drum, and her family shunned her for it—especially her mother. Parental disapproval, at any age, can […]
Keeping the Peace Backfires
“It has to change! I can’t take it anymore.” Liza was referring to her marriage. “If I don’t conform to how Stuart wants me to be, or if I don’t agree with how he sees things, he get’s furious,” she said. “And if he doesn’t get his way, he get’s stormy.” Liza was describing life […]
Fear the Small Stuff
We’re all aware of the big and obvious things that rock our existence. But it’s the small—oftentimes invisible—things that can prove to be most destructive. Here’s an example. While at Cape Cod, Don and I took a nature walk, enjoying the beauty of the wetlands. But something unseen was putting a damper on things. Call […]
Flying Sunglasses
Thomas Moore, the presenter for Psychotherapy, Spirituality and the Soul, a five-day seminar I attended recently, had this to say: “In an ordinary situation, larger things may be occurring.” He was referring to those mysterious happenings that lack any rational explanation. At those times, the intellect is left in a state of confusion. Moore says […]
Caring for Our Soul
I spent an exciting week on Cape Cod! The adventure included a five-day seminar led by Thomas Moore entitled Psychotherapy, Spirituality and the Soul. (Not to worry … the sessions were over at noon every day. The rest of the day was play!) Thirteen years in the monastery seasoned his wisdom, but so did his […]
Screwed Up But Healthy
I just had to laugh when Beth—referring to her progress—said this in a recent session: “I’m still screwed up, but in a healthy way.” To say the least, I was puzzled by that comment, so I asked, “What do you mean?” “I’m the product of a dysfunctional household,” she said. “But I’m in a much healthier […]
Free Your Spirit!
Far from being free, Joe lives in the prison called “settling for.” Consequently, he lives a boring, soul-deadening existence. Long ago he deserted himself when he aborted his desires and dreams. Now Joe isn’t where he wants to be, doing what he wants to do. Not surprisingly, in the process of sacrificing his will, Joe […]
Brain Fog
Hey, studies are substantiating that there’s a strong connection between the food we eat and the way we feel mentally—our mood! Psychologist Dr. Lynn Johnson, author of Enjoy Life! Healing with Happiness, wrote an excellent piece about this on his blog here. I couldn’t agree more. Personally, I know how I feel just minutes after […]
Guilt is a Cruel Dictator
Beth feels guilty because she doesn’t want her mother to watch her 2-year-old son. She would prefer to use her mother-in-law, her husband Sam’s mom. Why? Because Beth doesn’t want her son to be exposed to the same belittling treatment she experienced as a child. Beth feels strongly about her position, but teeters at times. […]
Call It a Relationship Virus
I’ve written about Beth and Sam before (on 2/7/13 and 3/21/13). After divorcing Sam, Beth decided she didn’t really want to leave him after all. Within a few months they were back together. When I asked her what changed her mind, she said, “I’ve discovered that anger fades a lot faster than love.” Today, they’re still […]