Nope … the Ring Won’t Change Him
Steer clear of people who fail to take an honest look at themselves. Do you really want to be with a person who can’t be reasoned with, who doesn’t take an honest look in the mirror, and who flies into a rage at the mere drop of a hat? That was the question I asked […]
Latest Wow: Anger’s a Mask We Wear
“I don’t mind being the bitch … it gives me boundaries. It protects me from how vulnerable, wrong, and empty I feel inside.” This was the first session Kate’s focus went inward. Before that, her focus had been on her outer enemies. Kate’s wow—one of many—had me jumping out of my seat that day! It was exciting to be part […]
Husband and Doormat
The problem with walking on eggshells is that it imprisons you, and nothing gets better. That was my response to Naomi in our counseling session. She habitually succumbs to her hot-tempered husband. “I’m careful about everything I say because, well, he gets ugly if I tell him what he doesn’t want to hear,” she said. […]
You Create Your World
So You Create Your thoughts are setting the stage for things to come. As you think, so you create. If you believe your dreams are attainable, so you create. If you anticipate failure, so you create. If you imagine being smiled at tomorrow, so you create. If you predict rejection, so you create. If you […]
Love is the Force
“I want her to know she can come to me.” Ben was referring to his twelve-year-old daughter, Madison. He sought my advice because 1) he’s concerned about her grades and 2) he realizes his approach is alienating her. When Ben talks to Madison about her grades, he doesn’t talk. He yells and puts her down. […]
The Latest Wow: How to Save a Sinking Ship
“I just learned that the human brain isn’t fully formed until the age of 24. I got married at 20 so, therefore, I wasn’t in my right mind.” This little gem—which activated my uncontrollable-laughter-impulse—fell straight from the lips of Anna, a client experiencing a bit of disillusionment in her marriage. Not at all unfamiliar territory […]
Free to Leave
“A grain of sand becomes a beach in a millisecond.” Marta—my client—was talking about her over-reactive, hot-tempered husband who makes mountains out of mole hills. Add suspicion, an appetite for power, and alcohol to the mix and you have a potentially dangerous man. Not long ago, he became just that. It all started when she […]
Latest Wow: Ripe for Manipulation
“I don’t like to confront, so I’m easy to manipulate.” That “WOW” came from a mid-fortyish male client. He didn’t realize it, but he nailed a common human problem. Many of us don’t like to confront. Why are we so squeamish about confronting someone … even when it’s appropriate? There’s a wide variety of reasons. […]
The Latest Wow: “Get over it!” Really?
According to the late theologian Paul Tillich, “The first duty of love is to listen.” I rank listening right up there at the top of requirements for a well-running relationship. This includes love partnerships, parent-child relationships, friendships … you name it. Listening is a lot bigger than the mere act of hearing with our ears. […]
Keeping the Peace Backfires
“It has to change! I can’t take it anymore.” Liza was referring to her marriage. “If I don’t conform to how Stuart wants me to be, or if I don’t agree with how he sees things, he get’s furious,” she said. “And if he doesn’t get his way, he get’s stormy.” Liza was describing life […]