“Waste” Some Time
Carlie is an over-achieving teenager. She’s driven to excel academically, athletically and socially. She has trouble with that word “relax.” But in a moment of clarity, she wowed me with this: “I would like to know my future to see if I’m wasting my time, because if I am wasting my time, I want to waste it better.” […]
Cultivate Self-Compassion
“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.” […]
Don’t Grin and Bear It!
Out for a walk one day, I was struck by how natural it is for animals to protect themselves from harm. Their survival instinct doesn’t seem cluttered with emotional logjams such as second-guessing, guilt, or denial. At the first sign of danger, without the slightest hesitation, a bird will take flight. Likewise, rabbits hop away to safety. […]
Safe or Confining?
“Most people talk about fear of the unknown, but if there is anything to fear it is the known.” Chopra You know . . . there’s truth to that. Not long ago, I watched the movie Room. It’s about a mother and her son, Jack, who are confined to a shed they call “Room.” Jack’s mother […]
Latest Wow: What Love Does
Love doesn’t involve pain or control … it sets you free. ~Don Armstrong Not long ago, a former client—who’s in her forties—was telling me of an incident involving her father. He was giving one of his typical straightening-out-her-thinking talks and at some point he began shaming her . . . “just as he did when […]
Be Bigger Than Fear
To dare is to lose one’s footing momentarily. To not dare is to lose one’s self. Soren Kierkegaard Sad to say, many of us choose playing it safe over living fully. Spencer Johnson, M.D., addresses this condition and offers a solution in a delightful little book, Who Moved My Cheese? The story’s setting takes place […]
Husband and Doormat
The problem with walking on eggshells is that it imprisons you, and nothing gets better. That was my response to Naomi in our counseling session. She habitually succumbs to her hot-tempered husband. “I’m careful about everything I say because, well, he gets ugly if I tell him what he doesn’t want to hear,” she said. […]
Real Strength
I like what Sydney Harris, the late American journalist, had to say: “People who are proud of being brutally frank rarely admit they are more gratified by the brutality than by the frankness.” Personally, I don’t think there’s anything admirable about stomping on someone’s dignity. It’s easy to be offensive and degrading. It’s much more […]
The Truth about Tears
“Only strong people allow themselves to feel pain.” –Heather, 16 If you haven’t watched the movie Inside Out, drop everything and head for a theater immediately! The story takes place inside the head of 11-year-old Riley, where five key characters reside—all representing her main emotions: Joy, Fear, Disgust, Anger, and Sadness. The story carries a […]
Freedom is Creating a Fabulous Elephant!
“It takes one a long time to become young.” –Pablo Picasso I remember hearing about an 8-year-old girl who painted a picture of a fabulous elephant. What made her elephant earn the distinction of being fabulous? She used a wide array of colors. Unfortunately, her teacher was stricken with an adult brain and was […]