You Always Hurt the One You Love
Walls go up around the heart when we’re treated harshly. Eventually, bitterness replaces the tender love that was once there. Claire was starting to feel that way toward her husband, Joe, when she sought my help. “He’s constantly critical and demeaning to me!” she said. “It has to change! I’m too miserable to have it […]
Keeping the Peace Backfires
“It has to change! I can’t take it anymore.” Liza was referring to her marriage. “If I don’t conform to how Stuart wants me to be, or if I don’t agree with how he sees things, he get’s furious,” she said. “And if he doesn’t get his way, he get’s stormy.” Liza was describing life […]
The Latest Wow: Man Objects to Being Eye Candy
Here’s one man’s response to my post “The Latest Wow: He Says ‘No’ to Sex” “I know I’m in the minority, but I don’t like being a magnet for women. My physical appearance isn’t who I am … it’s not how I know myself. Before a relationship even gets off the ground I want to […]
The Latest Wow: He Says ‘No’ to Sex
One of my male clients wowed me with this: “It’s hard to be amorous with someone who’s beating the hell out of you mentally!” So things turn a man off, too. Hmmmm. So much for their reputation as animals.
Call It a Relationship Virus
I’ve written about Beth and Sam before (on 2/7/13 and 3/21/13). After divorcing Sam, Beth decided she didn’t really want to leave him after all. Within a few months they were back together. When I asked her what changed her mind, she said, “I’ve discovered that anger fades a lot faster than love.” Today, they’re still […]
Reject Spirit Zappers
When we tune in to the outrage of being violated, no matter what the degree, it’s the beginning of putting up a protective shield. We’re designed to be invested in self-preservation. It appears that for the duration of our lifetime, we’re assigned to one person to fully watch over, to love unconditionally, and bathe with […]
The Cookie War
It’s not about the power another person wields or takes; it’s about the power we surrender. That is what I conveyed to Amy in our counseling session. She needed an answer for dealing with her demeaning husband, and it didn’t entail placating him or being little around him. It entailed boldly standing up for herself. Read […]
Apologies That Mean Something
Ever receive one of those hollow-eyed, flat apologies? You know … the mechanical kind that lack any substance. Yes, we all know what it’s like, and we all know what we want instead. Tracy and a few others do, and here are their stories. Read them here.
It all took place in a sunny cafe . . .
My partner, Don, and I had just sat down to enjoy lunch when a stranger approached our table. I thought he must be a manager and was about to ask how we felt about the food. Instead, with a concerned tone he asked me, “Are you feeling better?” That was so out of the blue! […]
The Latest Wow: She Won’t Let it Go!
All men reading that title instantly know what it means. Yep—they do. Not only is it a common complaint among men in general, it’s a common complaint among my male clients. No question, guys would prefer—no, jump at the chance—to run a 20 mile marathon, uphill, rather than answer to a “we-need-to-talk” invitation from their female […]