“Cherish your visions and your dreams as they are the children of your soul, the blueprints of your ultimate achievements.”
–Napoleon Hill
At an early age, we were programmed and shaped by our parents and other key people. It’s our job to disentangle ourselves from the limitations of all that indoctrination.
My thoughts turn to 33-year-old Celeste whose life seems colorless. She grieves daily over the loss of what ignites her spirit: dancing. As far back as she can remember, she loved to dance. It made her happy.
But today, as an adult, she’s far from happy. Appearing defeated, she gazed at the floor in my office while expressing the sadness that engulfed her: “I always wanted to be a dancer, but I knew my mother thought I could never make it.”
Unfortunately, her mother’s opinion carried more weight than her soul’s magnetic pull.
In his book The Four Agreements Don Miguel Ruiz details the power of opinions. “Whenever we hear an opinion and believe it, we make an agreement, and it becomes part of our belief system,” he writes.
At some point, Celeste started to “agree” with her mother regarding her capabilities. She internalized her mother’s beliefs—adopting them for her own.
No wonder Celeste is depressed. That’s what happens when we abandon our soul’s longings.
Another commonly used term for “agreement” is “script.” Like agreements, we tether ourselves to our scripts—adopting and acting on them without questioning whether or not they’re based on truth.
Here are a few common scripts:
- It’s weak to cry or show feelings
- I should always please others
- I’m supposed to be perfect
- It’s wrong to ask for what I want
- I shouldn’t complain or have needs
- I should always put on a happy face
- I’m unlikable
These scripts and others are often sources of ongoing torment and a stifled existence.
One of life’s challenges entails breaking free of the scripts that define and limit us—scripts we have accepted as fact. We need to get comfortable with being our own authority—forming our own opinion about what’s fact and what isn’t. We’ve bought into these scripts since we were kids. Now that we’re older, we can unbuy them!
Call it freedom . . . freedom from programming. 🙂
Names are changed to honor client confidentiality
(c) Salee Reese 2018