“She turned me into a puppet, and then wondered why I no longer loved her. The answer is simple—a puppet doesn’t have a heart.”
“As men, we share a single purpose: to find that one special female who will kill us just slowly enough that by the time we reach 80, we’re already dead.”
To read more about Gordon’s struggle and eventual liberation, click here.
Gordon’s story isn’t that unusual. For example, Trey—a recent client—uttered these words to his girlfriend in his therapy session: “I don’t want to be nit-picked to death.” He went on to say that he was rethinking whether he wanted to stay in the relationship. “I’m tired of being beaten down all the time,” he explained.
“I don’t see how I make you feel that way,” she replied.
I loved his straight-to-the-point response: “You do it by expecting the worst out of me all the time.”
In that relationship, Trey felt he could never do anything right. He fell into the trap of making futile, exhaustive attempts at attaining her approval before finally realizing: “It’s not me, it’s her. She wants to see me as flawed.”
Like Gordon, Trey tried to make the relationship work by altering himself—by keeping his girlfriend appeased. It turned him into a puppet—an empty shell.
After that session, Trey broke up with his girlfriend. He came to understand that no woman—no matter how special—is worth the loss of his essential being.
Names are changed to honor client confidentiality.
After reading the article about Gordon it’s easy to understand why he cut the strings and set the puppet free.
As is typical for me, I stand on the opposite side of the tracks. I never got close enough to anyone to ever care what they thought, or how they felt. I was never a puppet, I was way too feral for that. My shackles were all internal, and I became feral rather than domesticated. I’ve recently found someone who stuck by me long enough for me to see how my actions affected others. Now, with Salee’s help, my “domestication” is a much needed change. I was never a puppet, but I’ve finally found someone worthy of holding my leash.
George, I was sooo very touched by your comment. You validate for me—as you have on many occasions—that darkness creates the necessary conditions for establishing depth and soulfulness. Thank you.
Salee