I like this quote:
“Making marriage work is like operating a farm. You have to start all over again each morning.”
— Anonymous
One thing that assures a long-lasting relationship is kindness—each partner treating the other with the same respect, courtesy and gentleness that characterized their mode of relating in the beginning.
Unfortunately, our human tendency after settling in is to relax those standards. We drop those nicer habits. Not good. A relationship should be a place where flowers grow … not a place where we’re constantly encountering prickly nettles.
Another crucial element is freedom. Love shouldn’t be a prison, and true love isn’t.
Go to my column titled “The Grander Version of Love” where you can read about Carl and Lynn. I go into more depth about kindness, freedom and two other components that comprise a healthy relationship.
I welcome your views!
Salee Reese 
Good stuff. Sounds like what we say or do is a by-product of what we are rather than what they are.