Don’t Forget to Love You
“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.” ~Buddha “I was grumpy when I got up and then I took it out on my kids,” Lori said. “I was just lazy and didn’t want to get up.” Lori had a good reason for wanting to stay in bed a little bit longer. She’s […]
Moms are Perfectly Imperfect!
Moms are easy targets for nearly all the psychological ailments that afflict their children … and our world for that matter. Consider for a moment, the troublesome members of our species who populate our planet. When it comes to assigning blame, doesn’t the finger get pointed at maternal rearing? So under the weight of such […]
Advice from the Animal Kingdom
Don Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements, pinpoints how perfectionism impacts us negatively: “Not being perfect, we reject ourselves,” he writes. It’s true. Many people condemn themselves for failing to live up to the often inflated, sometimes impossible expectations they set for themselves. This can include failing to get a perfect performance review, a […]
Love Me Tender
Some people believe they’re detestable. In fact, the thought of being worthy of love and accepted–even cherished!–for who they are at the root level seems unfathomable to them. That’s not how it’s supposed to be. We’re supposed to be content with ourselves. So where do low self-opinions come from? Children internalize or see themselves as […]
Silence Your Inner Bully
Negative self-talk arises from a ruthless internal bully. “Everything I touch fails. I suck at everything!” Those words were uttered by 35-year-old Brady who can’t seem to shake a pattern of failed jobs and relationships. Is it a matter of bad luck? Definitely not. It has to do with how he was programmed. “In my […]
You Really Do Know What’s True
Proceeding wisely through life requires a sharply focused awareness of our emotions. Being blind to them handicaps our ability to take effective action in any given situation. Let’s say, as a small child, you hear a loud noise. Instinctively, you place your hands over your ears. Then you’re told, “It’s not too loud.” Let’s say […]
The Universe Loves You
Even when you don’t. Plagued with guilt and self-loathing, many of us are solidly convinced that as human beings we are fundamentally unworthy and unlovable. It’s just not true. Our essence is pure. How is it possible to despise purity? Maybe what we consider unlovable is our tainted opinion of ourselves—something we grew to believe […]
Latest Wow: Goodbye to Insane Guilt
I remember when Vanessa wowed me with this one: “I’ve spent 30 years hating myself, and I’m tired of it. I need to learn how to love myself.” Self-loathing wasn’t something Vanessa was born with. It was learned. When we were babies, we had no innate sense of disgust with ourselves. If our rattle fell […]
Listen to Your Grumpy Self
“I was grumpy when I got up and then I took it out on my kids,” Lori said. “I was just lazy and didn’t want to get up.” Lori had a good reason for wanting to stay in bed a little bit longer. She had worked late the night before. She needed the rest. But something […]
Your Inner Judge Is a Liar
“Talk to yourself the way you talk to someone you love.” Brené Brown Self-criticism is learned—we don’t come out of the womb with that tendency. I’m talking about the self-esteem-destroying self-talk that buzzes around in one’s head endlessly. Like a virus that invades the brain, it constantly judges and condemns its host. Infection takes […]