Love Me Tender
Some people believe they’re detestable. In fact, the thought of being worthy of love and accepted–even cherished!–for who they are at the root level seems unfathomable to them. That’s not how it’s supposed to be. We’re supposed to be content with ourselves. So where do low self-opinions come from? Children internalize or see themselves as […]
Planting the Seeds
In passing, I overheard a heart-sinking exchange between a father and son. “Hey, Dad, what’s Grandpa’s phone number?” His father frowned. “What’s the matter with you? You know the number—you call it all the time! Are you a retard?” If it pained me to bear witness to such harshness, I can only imagine its impact […]
Shared Tears Heal
One day, Heather’s parents discovered a suicide note among her things. Terrified and stunned, they sought help. It wasn’t long before their teenage daughter was admitted to a hospital. Looking back on that day, Heather recalls how hard she fought and argued with her […]
Silence Your Inner Bully
Negative self-talk arises from a ruthless internal bully. “Everything I touch fails. I suck at everything!” Those words were uttered by 35-year-old Brady who can’t seem to shake a pattern of failed jobs and relationships. Is it a matter of bad luck? Definitely not. It has to do with how he was programmed. “In my […]
The Love in Goodbyes
They share one thing: the tomb they inhabit called their marriage. It’s as cold and lifeless as a mausoleum’s marble walls. Merely coexisting in physical proximity to each other, they rarely utter a word—only when necessary. Long ago, they gave up occupying the same bed—even the same bedroom. Detachment characterizes their marriage. Is it a marriage? Legally, […]
Make Your Soul Happy
“Depression is a distant early warning system that something in you is being pressed down, beat on, kept in prison, dishonored.” ~Sam Keen Sandra is depressed and it’s because she’s been dishonoring herself for a long time. Although she despises her job, she forces herself to tolerate it. Not only is it unrewarding, the pressure […]
Let’s Do Gifts!
“The best things in life aren’t things.” This little piece of wisdom came straight from a bumper sticker. A few years ago, as the holiday season was approaching, my thoughts turned to gifts. I decided to ask several people: “How would you define a gift?” Here’s a sampling of the responses I collected: “To me, […]
Acknowledge Your Magnificence
What if a ray of sunlight–feeling guilty for its brightness–purposely dimmed itself? Who loses out? We all do! Light-dimming is fairly common. Concealing our flaws is understandable, but it’s a bit tragic when we conceal our finer qualities. And if that wasn’t bad enough, we may hide those better attributes even from ourselves, banishing them […]
Say Good-bye to Bullies
Don’t put up with bullying just because it’s been your habit since day one and is therefore insanely comfortable. That was my advice to Nicole who endures verbal abuse from her boss on a regular basis. She’s always belittling her in front of the other employees. For example, she’ll blast her for missing deadlines and […]
Unexpected Gift
“I don’t take responsibility for what’s going on in your head.” That’s what Gordon wishes he had said when his girlfriend completely misinterpreted him . . . again. It all started when she called to tell him how bored and miserable she was at work. According to the work schedule, she had the day off, […]