Freedom From Toxic People
Our soul recoils when exposed to something toxic. It sounds a distress call that reverberates throughout our very being and won’t stop until we wake up. You’re hard-wired to sense toxins both physically and psychologically. Call it your survival instinct. Trust it. Caring for ourselves entails recognizing and avoiding things that can be toxic to […]
Don’t Forget to Love You
“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.” ~Buddha “I was grumpy when I got up and then I took it out on my kids,” Lori said. “I was just lazy and didn’t want to get up.” Lori had a good reason for wanting to stay in bed a little bit longer. She’s […]
I Want a Silverback Father!
I’m certain we could learn a lot from silverback gorillas. Not about grooming habits, but about the way they care for their young. The movie Instinct stars Anthony Hopkins as an anthropologist who lives among a community of gorillas for two years. He starts out as a detached observer, but it isn’t long before they […]
Moms are Perfectly Imperfect!
Moms are easy targets for nearly all the psychological ailments that afflict their children … and our world for that matter. Consider for a moment, the troublesome members of our species who populate our planet. When it comes to assigning blame, doesn’t the finger get pointed at maternal rearing? So under the weight of such […]
Go Find Another Well
Time and time again, Christi tried to quench her thirst from a dry well. The analogy describes what it’s been like living with her boyfriend, Tony, for the past six years. The anguish she’s felt is comparable to someone slowly dying from thirst. Although he called her his girlfriend, his participation in the relationship was […]
Did You Spit on Somebody’s Pet Turtle?
If a third grader got in your face, accusing you of spitting on his pet turtle, you would be thinking: Well now, that’s pure ridiculousness. I’ve never been near his pet turtle and, for that matter, I didn’t even know he had one. Being perceived wrongly is an opportunity to practice believing in yourself. So […]
Wanted: A Gentle Caveman
Knowing how to love a woman isn’t rocket science. Or is it? Over the years, as a counselor, numerous men have sought my advice about women. They want to know how to navigate the baffling pathway to a woman’s heart. Whether dating or in a long-term relationship, it’s not uncommon for a guy to […]
Don’t be Bullied by Guilt
Just as there are good and bad bacteria, good and bad cholesterol, there’s also good and bad guilt. Good guilt guides us in making wise choices. Bad guilt is the bully in our head that has a knack for running our lives…and sometimes right off the rails. Tessa is a perfect example: She’s been embracing […]
Outsmart Your Guilt
Things go wrong when guilt’s the driving force behind our actions. That’s because guilt doesn’t do a good job of steering us in the right direction. It lacks intelligence. Dru, 17, is a prime example. She didn’t want to hurt her boyfriend’s feelings, and as a result became pregnant. In our counseling session with tears […]
Don’t Be Nice All the Time
Over and over again, while growing up, Kari heard: “It’s better to give and be nice than it is to receive.” Valuing the other person more than yourself was expected. So, today, she tends to be nice to everyone but herself. No surprise. When people mistreat or take advantage of her, she gives them a […]