Outsmart Your Guilt
Things go wrong when guilt’s the driving force behind our actions. That’s because guilt doesn’t do a good job of steering us in the right direction. It lacks intelligence. Dru, 17, is a prime example. She didn’t want to hurt her boyfriend’s feelings, and as a result became pregnant. In our counseling session with tears […]
Love Me Tender
Some people believe they’re detestable. In fact, the thought of being worthy of love and accepted–even cherished!–for who they are at the root level seems unfathomable to them. That’s not how it’s supposed to be. We’re supposed to be content with ourselves. So where do low self-opinions come from? Children internalize or see themselves as […]
Shared Tears Heal
One day, Heather’s parents discovered a suicide note among her things. Terrified and stunned, they sought help. It wasn’t long before their teenage daughter was admitted to a hospital. Looking back on that day, Heather recalls how hard she fought and argued with her […]
Silence Your Inner Bully
Negative self-talk arises from a ruthless internal bully. “Everything I touch fails. I suck at everything!” Those words were uttered by 35-year-old Brady who can’t seem to shake a pattern of failed jobs and relationships. Is it a matter of bad luck? Definitely not. It has to do with how he was programmed. “In my […]
Make Your Soul Happy
“Depression is a distant early warning system that something in you is being pressed down, beat on, kept in prison, dishonored.” ~Sam Keen Sandra is depressed and it’s because she’s been dishonoring herself for a long time. Although she despises her job, she forces herself to tolerate it. Not only is it unrewarding, the pressure […]
Moving Through Grief
It has been two years since her husband, Trent, died. But to Amy it feels like yesterday. “Why am I grieving?” she lamented. “I thought I was over it.” I answered her simply: “We’re never over love, Amy.” After his fatal car accident, she told herself she must be strong for the children. So she […]
The Seduction of Security
Oh, the soul-numbing effect of living within the confines of the familiar! This was the theme that 41-year-old Angie and I discussed in our counseling session. She came to me wanting help with her depression. “I just can’t seem to shake this no matter what I tell myself,” she said with a sigh. Angie described her […]
Not Guilty!
Kara would like to skip getting together with her family over the holidays. But guilt stands in her way. “I hate to say it but I’d be a whole lot happier spending time with Marc’s family,” she said. Marc is Kara’s husband. “They’re just more pleasant to be around.” In contrast, Kara’s family gatherings are unbearably […]
Over It
Holly told me she wasn’t suicidal. I disagreed. “I guess you’re right,” she said after some thought. “I’ve been killing myself off for years.” Holly was referring to staying with a man who frequently deflates her spirit—her husband, Lance. She related the events of an evening they had some friends over. When it was time […]
You’re not Crazy!
Ever been around someone who makes you question your sanity because there’s no working things out? Every attempt to reason with them fails miserably . . . nothing works. Presenting facts doesn’t work. Even staying composed doesn’t work. Those hair-pulling moments can reduce a person to a pitiful pile of frustration and self-doubt in a […]