The Latest Wow: Where Life is
Not long ago, Todd, a client, wowed me with this: “I want to be the type of person who loves others above myself. I know that’s where life is.” Todd lives in a self-contained sphere that doesn’t include other people. He’s not a hermit—living an isolated existence. Far from it. He’s a husband, father, […]
Don’t Settle for a Beige Life
When we follow our dreams, we take up residence in a much larger part of ourselves . . . our soul. “Be silently drawn by the stronger pull of what you really love.” – Rumi That line could apply to many circumstances. It can apply to a person, an activity, a career or a dream […]
The Latest Wow: Don’t Feed the Parasites!
Not long ago, one of my clients, Rani, wowed me with this: “Some people don’t really deserve the benefit of the doubt.” Experience taught Rani that somber truth. For months, she overlooked and excused multiple incidents of being used, deceived and manipulated by her friend, Val. “It finally reached such ludicrous proportions, I just couldn’t […]
Shed Those Unwanted Pounds . . . of Guilt
I propose we start a club called Guilt-Shedders. Not long ago, I heard this joke on the radio: If you feel bad about what you did, that’s guilt. If you feel bad about who you are, that’s shame. If you feel shame because you don’t feel guilty, that’s Catholic. The truth is, Catholics don’t have […]
Life’s Hidden Agenda
The soul wants growth and that doesn’t translate into a smooth ride. I think life is akin to climbing into a canoe and paddling down a stream that’s rife with challenges and uncertainties. Yes, it’s risky and stress-provoking—to say the least. But if we hang in there, we get really good at navigating obstacles. Call […]
Life’s the Teacher
“Truth cannot be borrowed. It can only be experienced.” Thich Nhat Hanh One of the hardest things to endure is watching a loved one suffer and being unable to teach them the life lessons we’ve learned. We’ve all been there, and we all end up pulling our hair out in utter frustration when our best […]
Free to Leave
“A grain of sand becomes a beach in a millisecond.” Marta—my client—was talking about her over-reactive, hot-tempered husband who makes mountains out of mole hills. Add suspicion, an appetite for power, and alcohol to the mix and you have a potentially dangerous man. Not long ago, he became just that. It all started when she […]
Dominated by Guilt
Guilt, just like anger, is often used as a tool to manipulate. Last week I offered one reason why we refrain from speaking up or confronting another person. It’s the fear of igniting a thunderstorm. Another reason is guilt. One of my teenage clients, Allie, put it perfectly: “I don’t know how to stand up […]
Recreate You … To Your Liking
This is the time of the year when we pause amidst our habituated routines and consider making life changes. When it comes to my clients, I typically ask two questions: “How do you want your life to look?” and “How are you hindering that … getting in your own way?” It’s impossible to act on […]
The Unboxable Gift
How would you define a gift? A few years back when I posed that question to various people, I learned that a bumper sticker held the truth: “The best things in life aren’t things.” Hmmm . . . truth shows up in the least expected places at times. (Fodder for a new post, wouldn’t you […]