Keeping the Peace Backfires
“It has to change! I can’t take it anymore.” Liza was referring to her marriage. “If I don’t conform to how Stuart wants me to be, or if I don’t agree with how he sees things, he get’s furious,” she said. “And if he doesn’t get his way, he get’s stormy.” Liza was describing life […]
Fear the Small Stuff
We’re all aware of the big and obvious things that rock our existence. But it’s the small—oftentimes invisible—things that can prove to be most destructive. Here’s an example. While at Cape Cod, Don and I took a nature walk, enjoying the beauty of the wetlands. But something unseen was putting a damper on things. Call […]
Caring for Our Soul
I spent an exciting week on Cape Cod! The adventure included a five-day seminar led by Thomas Moore entitled Psychotherapy, Spirituality and the Soul. (Not to worry … the sessions were over at noon every day. The rest of the day was play!) Thirteen years in the monastery seasoned his wisdom, but so did his […]
Screwed Up But Healthy
I just had to laugh when Beth—referring to her progress—said this in a recent session: “I’m still screwed up, but in a healthy way.” To say the least, I was puzzled by that comment, so I asked, “What do you mean?” “I’m the product of a dysfunctional household,” she said. “But I’m in a much healthier […]
The Latest Wow: Man Objects to Being Eye Candy
Here’s one man’s response to my post “The Latest Wow: He Says ‘No’ to Sex” “I know I’m in the minority, but I don’t like being a magnet for women. My physical appearance isn’t who I am … it’s not how I know myself. Before a relationship even gets off the ground I want to […]
Free Your Spirit!
Far from being free, Joe lives in the prison called “settling for.” Consequently, he lives a boring, soul-deadening existence. Long ago he deserted himself when he aborted his desires and dreams. Now Joe isn’t where he wants to be, doing what he wants to do. Not surprisingly, in the process of sacrificing his will, Joe […]
The Latest Wow: He Says ‘No’ to Sex
One of my male clients wowed me with this: “It’s hard to be amorous with someone who’s beating the hell out of you mentally!” So things turn a man off, too. Hmmmm. So much for their reputation as animals.
Guilt is a Cruel Dictator
Beth feels guilty because she doesn’t want her mother to watch her 2-year-old son. She would prefer to use her mother-in-law, her husband Sam’s mom. Why? Because Beth doesn’t want her son to be exposed to the same belittling treatment she experienced as a child. Beth feels strongly about her position, but teeters at times. […]
Anchored By Fear
Chronic boredom is the sting of non-being, The pain of the unlived life, The roads not explored, The risks not taken, The persons not loved, The thoughts not thought, The feelings not savored. […]
Reject Spirit Zappers
When we tune in to the outrage of being violated, no matter what the degree, it’s the beginning of putting up a protective shield. We’re designed to be invested in self-preservation. It appears that for the duration of our lifetime, we’re assigned to one person to fully watch over, to love unconditionally, and bathe with […]