Freedom From Toxic People
Our soul recoils when exposed to something toxic. It sounds a distress call that reverberates throughout our very being and won’t stop until we wake up. You’re hard-wired to sense toxins both physically and psychologically. Call it your survival instinct. Trust it. Caring for ourselves entails recognizing and avoiding things that can be toxic to […]
The Love in Goodbyes
They share one thing: the tomb they inhabit called their marriage. It’s as cold and lifeless as a mausoleum’s marble walls. Merely coexisting in physical proximity to each other, they rarely utter a word—only when necessary. Long ago, they gave up occupying the same bed—even the same bedroom. Detachment characterizes their marriage. Is it a marriage? Legally, […]
Over It
Holly told me she wasn’t suicidal. I disagreed. “I guess you’re right,” she said after some thought. “I’ve been killing myself off for years.” Holly was referring to staying with a man who frequently deflates her spirit—her husband, Lance. She related the events of an evening they had some friends over. When it was time […]
Two to Tango
Passivity invites the other person to take a power position. Maya and Jarel have been dancing the same dance step—or style of relating—for years. He dominates and she obediently yields. She’s tired of it. Not long ago, she was ready to walk out the door, but right at that point he made a dramatic change . […]
Our Favorite Illusion
Some dreamy-eyed part of us clings to the illusion that through a sheer act of will we can change another human being. Such misguided thinking is as unrealistic as believing we can get a walnut tree to start producing apples. For six years Sonya has asked her husband—who works in the remodeling industry—to fix the […]
We Mourn Endings . . . at Any Age
Because things are always in the process of change, grief is inevitable. Proceeding through life creates a sense of loss, because something must be left behind. Consequently, grief arises whenever we move, change careers, or retire and leave the workforce altogether. We mourn endings such as when we grow up and leave home, when friendships cease, and when […]