Rehearsing for a Harried Lifestyle
This is the extent of my thoughts on stress: My life’s much too stressful for getting stressed out. I don’t have time for it. ~Salee That said, I once wrote a column about an overachieving teenager, Jamie. You can read about her story here. In that column I pointed out that: Young overachievers are rehearsing for […]
She Swallowed A Lie
Depression and dissatisfaction with your life may be direct feedback from your inner guidance system telling you that you’re not fulfilling your true nature. Branches on a young bonsai tree are wired down and shaped to conform to a fixed design. In time, the wires are no longer necessary. The bonsai will hold its forged […]
Keeping the Peace Backfires
“It has to change! I can’t take it anymore.” Liza was referring to her marriage. “If I don’t conform to how Stuart wants me to be, or if I don’t agree with how he sees things, he get’s furious,” she said. “And if he doesn’t get his way, he get’s stormy.” Liza was describing life […]
Guilt is a Cruel Dictator
Beth feels guilty because she doesn’t want her mother to watch her 2-year-old son. She would prefer to use her mother-in-law, her husband Sam’s mom. Why? Because Beth doesn’t want her son to be exposed to the same belittling treatment she experienced as a child. Beth feels strongly about her position, but teeters at times. […]
The Cookie War
It’s not about the power another person wields or takes; it’s about the power we surrender. That is what I conveyed to Amy in our counseling session. She needed an answer for dealing with her demeaning husband, and it didn’t entail placating him or being little around him. It entailed boldly standing up for herself. Read […]
Don’t Spend Your Life Being Little
Stalled in Chicago traffic wasn’t Carrie’s idea of a wonderful day. Planted in the driver’s seat, she silently broiled. Her anger didn’t stem from her two passengers, her husband and mother-in-law. Instead, she was furious with herself. Getting trapped in traffic was ohhhh soooo avoidable, because Carrie was adept at driving Chicago, maneuvering skillfully and comfortably […]
The Latest Wow: Fire Your Inner Critic!
I had a client tell me once: “Every time I put myself down, I’m affirming that my mother was right.” Click here to read about Dawn and Doug and how their childhoods were fertile soil for the formation of negative self-talk and low self-worth.
Getting Naked
We all carry around our share of shame-debris. That is, unless we grew up in a perfect environment with perfect parents, perfect siblings, perfect everybody, or—let’s face it—planted on a perfect planet. Recently, I discovered a video where Brené Brown makes us feel pretty normal about our shame. She also makes us feel normal about our […]
The Latest Wow: Military Officer Endorses Tears
I want to share with you a touching email I received from a Naval Officer stationed in Viriginia Beach. He wrote to me after reading “Tears Are As Natural As Breathing”—the column I refer to in the previous post, “Dare to Cry.” Here it is: “Salee, I just wanted you to know that shortly after […]
Dare to Cry
“Tears are a sign of a soul feeling awake.” — Michael Meade I love that quote because it slams the notion that something is wrong with shedding tears. In truth, something is probably wrong if we don’t. Like so many of us, I learned at an early age that tears aren’t acceptable, and that they stand […]