Latest Wow: Anger’s a Mask We Wear
“I don’t mind being the bitch … it gives me boundaries. It protects me from how vulnerable, wrong, and empty I feel inside.” This was the first session Kate’s focus went inward. Before that, her focus had been on her outer enemies. Kate’s wow—one of many—had me jumping out of my seat that day! It was exciting to be part […]
Husband and Doormat
The problem with walking on eggshells is that it imprisons you, and nothing gets better. That was my response to Naomi in our counseling session. She habitually succumbs to her hot-tempered husband. “I’m careful about everything I say because, well, he gets ugly if I tell him what he doesn’t want to hear,” she said. […]
The Truth about Tears
“Only strong people allow themselves to feel pain.” –Heather, 16 If you haven’t watched the movie Inside Out, drop everything and head for a theater immediately! The story takes place inside the head of 11-year-old Riley, where five key characters reside—all representing her main emotions: Joy, Fear, Disgust, Anger, and Sadness. The story carries a […]
Freedom is Creating a Fabulous Elephant!
“It takes one a long time to become young.” –Pablo Picasso I remember hearing about an 8-year-old girl who painted a picture of a fabulous elephant. What made her elephant earn the distinction of being fabulous? She used a wide array of colors. Unfortunately, her teacher was stricken with an adult brain and was […]
No Limits
There are those among us who put things in clear focus even when not intending to. I cross paths occasionally with a woman confined to a wheelchair. Several years ago, she lost the use of her legs due to a car accident. I chuckle over that word “confined” when I describe her because nothing could […]
Architects of our Destiny
Typically, when it comes to New Year’s resolutions we think along the lines of changing our physical appearance by going on a diet or getting involved in an exercise program. We may focus on breaking a bad habit or resolve to accomplish a project we’ve been putting off. The commitment to make any of these […]
Furry Love
I must share a story about Nora and her best friend, Monty. Monty, you see, is a dog, a chocolate lab who has lived a full life. He’s twelve, which I hear is equivalent to age 89 in people years. For several months, Monty’s health has been on the decline. And because he requires a great […]
Leaving Your Cage
A cage is anything that confines, reduces, inhibits or limits us. This includes our distorted ideas about ourselves. In Meet Your True Self, my previous post, Brad woke up to the fact that his inner roommate, also known as an inner critic, was a liar. In that mere flash of an instant, Brad freed himself from a […]
Meet Your True Self
When you’re harassed by guilt and self-judgment, you’re vacating your true self . . . and you’re vacating truth. Period. In my last post, Escape your Jungle, I defined the true self and how it can easily become overshadowed by a bogus self-concept—based on erroneous beliefs about ourselves. Donna was my example. Her negative conclusions about herself […]
Escape Your Jungle
Self-compassion . . . how do we get there? In my most recent post, I suggested that the key to this nirvana is disbelieving our conditioned self-concept, which is comprised of innumerable verbal and nonverbal messages we’ve absorbed over our lifetime. Years ago, I worked with Donna, a woman with depression. She saw herself as inferior, […]