Since this is the month we celebrate Valentine’s Day, I thought I’d dust off one of my favorites from several years ago that seemed to resonate with many people. Even if you’ve been following me from the beginning, this one’s worth a second look:
One thing that assures a long-lasting relationship is kindness—each partner treating the other with the same respect, courtesy and gentleness that characterized their mode of relating in the beginning.
Unfortunately, our human tendency after settling in is to relax those standards. We drop those nicer habits. Not good. A relationship should be a place where flowers grow . . . not a place where we’re constantly encountering prickly nettles.
Another crucial element is freedom. Love shouldn’t be a prison, and true love isn’t.
Go to my column titled “The Grander Version of Love” where you can read about Carl and Lynn. I go into more depth about kindness, freedom and two other components that comprise a healthy relationship.
I welcome your views!
“Making marriage work is like operating a farm. You have to start all over again each morning.”
— Anonymous
(c) Salee Reese 2017
Carl was caught up in his suffering and his needs. He wasn’t curious or sensitive to his wife’s suffering or pain. Rather he was blaming and more in victim mentality. As lovers or partners, we are in it together. My needs and your needs matter. Moreover, compassion is empathy in action. It’s when loving kindness meets suffering and we don’t become derailed.
Well said, Rachel! Thanks