Sometimes, we have to make the same mistake a bazillion times before we wake up. It’s downright humiliating! One of my clients knows this experience all too well. His mistake was assuming responsibility for the happiness of others. Since this just can’t work, he was continually banging his head against the wall.
In time he woke up! I knew it when he wowed me with something he had learned while growing up on the farm:
“You can’t get a pig out of the mud if it doesn’t want out. More often than not, you end up in the mud yourself–you get muddy. Pigs like to soak in the mud. Why try to get that other person out of the mud when they want to be there?”
Any thoughts?
If the focus is on fixing other’s, I don’t have to take chances in my own life and take risks.
Love it!
I see the sense of this, but I would suggest/ask; aren’t human beings deserving of our efforts to help them? I understand there is a balance and there is a point at which you walk away but that point varies based on both the strength and will of the person trying to help and the amount of caring an dlove that exists between the people.
I can only agree. Thanks Rich!
Rich, I think the Pig analogy might cover this concern. Yes, try to help someone…until it becomes clear that they want to stay where they are! If you continue beyond that point, you’re getting mud on YOU to do so…