Tag Archives: assert yourself

She Swallowed A Lie

Bonsai

Depression and dissatisfaction with your life may be direct feedback from your inner guidance system telling you that you’re not fulfilling your true nature.

Branches on a young bonsai tree are wired down and shaped to conform to a fixed design. In time, the wires are no longer necessary. The bonsai will hold its forged shape. Like the bonsai, we were shaped at a young age. But unlike the bonsai, when the wires are removed—that is, when we grow up—we have the option to remain fixed, shaped permanently, or return to our original and natural form. We have choice.

Click here to read about Donna, a client who swallowed a lie about herself.

We are only truly free when we take the initiative to direct our own fate and move beyond an existence anchored to old patterns. 

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Filed under General Interest, Get Free

Keep Your Mouth Shut! Really?

 Numerous times in our lifetime—no, in a single day—we’re faced with a dilemma: Do I open my mouth or keep it zipped? Do I take the risk or play it safe?

It’s not easy being verbally courageous. I fail at it more times than I succeed. But when I do succeed, it leaves me feeling a bit giddy. I think it’s because the freedom to express one’s thoughts has an elevating effect.

I’m reminded of this quote by George Orwell:

“If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.”

It’s taken me a long time to realize that it’s not a bad thing to tell people what they don’t want to hear. It may even be a good thing—not only for ourselves but also for the other person.

For example, when we put up with ill treatment by remaining quiet, we silently side with the least noble aspect of that person. We don’t help them grow. In fact, we rob them of the opportunity to do some healthy soul-searching.

In his book, Hero with a Thousand Faces, Joseph Campbell writes: “When you adapt to the world, you don’t better it.”

As for the personal price for remaining tight-lipped, I recall counseling Nicole, who had a co-worker who repeatedly demeaned her in front of others. “I’d rather have a root canal than be around that woman!” Nicole exclaimed. “I swear, she must sit up nights sharpening her nastiness skills!”

When I asked Nicole how she typically responds to this treatment, she said she keeps it to herself. “I don’t want to cause any problems.”

“How about those problems you carry around inside?” I asked. “Don’t they count?” I was referring to the array of dark distresses that ferment deep within, robbing her of contentment—call it indigestion of the soul.

Bottom line: Asserting ourselves when honesty needs to happen benefits all parties.

Names are changed to honor client confidentiality.

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Filed under Client of the Week, General Interest, Get Free, Random Acts of Courage