“How Do I Fix Us?”
“Why am I the last to find out? I didn’t know my wife was unhappy. She never told me!” I had to tell him the truth. “Yes, she did, Todd. There were clues. You just weren’t seeing them.” Beth had grown quiet and distant in his presence. In contrast, she was lively and talkative around […]
The Truth about Tears
“Only strong people allow themselves to feel pain.” –Heather, 16 If you haven’t watched the movie Inside Out, drop everything and head for a theater immediately! The story takes place inside the head of 11-year-old Riley, where five key characters reside—all representing her main emotions: Joy, Fear, Disgust, Anger, and Sadness. The story carries a […]
I Want a Silverback Father!
I’m certain we could learn a lot from silverback gorillas. Not about grooming habits, but about the way they care for their young. The movie Instinct stars Anthony Hopkins as an anthropologist who lives among a community of gorillas for two years. He starts out as a detached observer, but it isn’t long before they […]
Missing Sasha
Sadly, Carrie’s four legged friend passed away. When she told me about it a day later, she struggled hard to fight back the tears. She was surprised to be so affected. After all, it was just a dog, right? Wrong. Psychological experts are increasingly acknowledging the importance of pets in our lives. Indeed, they provide […]
The Latest Wow: The Great Divide
Not long ago, I was counseling a couple when one partner, Tracie, wowed me with this: “There will be days in which I will get mad at you and you will get mad at me but we will resolve it. I don’t want to live a life of avoidance.” Tracie is on to something. […]
Love is the Force
“I want her to know she can come to me.” Ben was referring to his twelve-year-old daughter, Madison. He sought my advice because 1) he’s concerned about her grades and 2) he realizes his approach is alienating her. When Ben talks to Madison about her grades, he doesn’t talk. He yells and puts her down. […]
The Latest Wow: Where Life is
Not long ago, Todd, a client, wowed me with this: “I want to be the type of person who loves others above myself. I know that’s where life is.” Todd lives in a self-contained sphere that doesn’t include other people. He’s not a hermit—living an isolated existence. Far from it. He’s a husband, father, […]
The Unboxable Gift
How would you define a gift? A few years back when I posed that question to various people, I learned that a bumper sticker held the truth: “The best things in life aren’t things.” Hmmm . . . truth shows up in the least expected places at times. (Fodder for a new post, wouldn’t you […]
Our Favorite Illusion
Some dreamy-eyed part of us clings to the illusion that through a sheer act of will we can change another human being. Such misguided thinking is as unrealistic as believing we can get a walnut tree to start producing apples. For six years Sonya has asked her husband—who works in the remodeling industry—to fix the […]
The Latest Wow: “Get over it!” Really?
According to the late theologian Paul Tillich, “The first duty of love is to listen.” I rank listening right up there at the top of requirements for a well-running relationship. This includes love partnerships, parent-child relationships, friendships … you name it. Listening is a lot bigger than the mere act of hearing with our ears. […]