Our Favorite Illusion
Some dreamy-eyed part of us clings to the illusion that through a sheer act of will we can change another human being. Such misguided thinking is as unrealistic as believing we can get a walnut tree to start producing apples. For six years Sonya has asked her husband—who works in the remodeling industry—to fix the […]
Trained By a Dog
Let’s face it, if we’re vague about what we want, we won’t get it. Like Karen, a former client, we’ll only cultivate inner frustration. “Never—ever!—did I anticipate the day I’d be jealous of a dog,” she said, “but I am . . . If the dog wants to play, Sam drops everything and plays with […]
It Takes Courage to Feel
Some people think that being tough has to do with muscle strength and detached emotions, but it’s the opposite. It takes courage to feel. Brenna, a client in her 20’s, mistakes strength with being stoic—devoid of emotion like one of Clint Eastwood’s characters. Her mom matches those qualities, and Brenna feels weak in comparison. “I […]
The Latest Wow: Rebellion’s Treasure
Not long ago, a client—in her 40s—wowed me with this: “Rebellion, at any age, is a means of repositioning ourselves with our parents.” I can only agree. I’ve come to see that the good side of rebellion is that it allows us to break into new horizons of empowerment—to transcend existing limits. Another client, Sonya, further […]
Love Scored a Touchdown
The week of Thanksgiving is upon us and our thoughts turn to turkey, pumpkin pies, family gatherings and … football—ew! Sorry, football fans. I couldn’t restrain myself. To me, football seems … well … brutish. Don, my partner, who just so happens to be a former football coach (go figure), tells me I’m suffering from […]
The Latest Wow: “Get over it!” Really?
According to the late theologian Paul Tillich, “The first duty of love is to listen.” I rank listening right up there at the top of requirements for a well-running relationship. This includes love partnerships, parent-child relationships, friendships … you name it. Listening is a lot bigger than the mere act of hearing with our ears. […]
Rehearsing for a Harried Lifestyle
This is the extent of my thoughts on stress: My life’s much too stressful for getting stressed out. I don’t have time for it. ~Salee That said, I once wrote a column about an overachieving teenager, Jamie. You can read about her story here. In that column I pointed out that: Young overachievers are rehearsing for […]
The Latest Wow: More Beautiful Than Leaves
A friend of mine, Patti, who helps me with my tech challenges, wowed me with something that caused me—without any reservation—to demand that she write it up for my blog. She did just that and here it is: I was gazing out my kitchen window the other day, captivated by the beauty of the changing […]
She Swallowed A Lie
Depression and dissatisfaction with your life may be direct feedback from your inner guidance system telling you that you’re not fulfilling your true nature. Branches on a young bonsai tree are wired down and shaped to conform to a fixed design. In time, the wires are no longer necessary. The bonsai will hold its forged […]
Latest Wow: We Can’t Always Snap Out of It
Brad has suffered from clinical depression for many years. Therapy and medications have helped some, but not entirely and not consistently. There are days when all he wants to do is stay in bed. On other days—his good days—he’s active and highly involved with the world. Would he like to feel that way every day? Of […]