Tag Archives: wisdom

Don’t Step In It

 

BOXER PUPPY

 

Anyone who takes an occasional walk will tell you that poop is out there — count on it!

For several months we’ve been seeing a lot of it everywhere, especially flung between the presidential candidates. That doesn’t mean it isn’t possible to rise above the fray! Here’s an example:

A professor of engineering walked into his classroom the day after the elections and encountered a roomful of arguing students. Raising his hand to silence them, he calmly said:

I have only two things to say and then we’re going to talk about engineering. I have lived through nine presidential elections and what I’ve observed is that when my team wins, the results are never quite as good as I anticipated, and when my team loses, the results are never quite as disastrous as I imagined.

The situation was promptly diffused. His words were calming for both sides.

I call this The Poop Principle: you can either walk around it or step in it.

(c) Salee Reese 2016

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Filed under Contemplations, General Interest, Get Free

Make YOU Happy

Jill and Trent have been in a relationship for a long time. They love each other very deeply and treasure their time spent together. The problem? Trent can’t leave his former girlfriend, Laura. He doesn’t love her, but he can’t bring himself to cause her pain.

Trent is one of those people who easily—too easily—feels guilty and responsible for the happiness of others. If someone close to him seems displeased or unhappy, he believes he caused it and should do something to fix it.

In our counseling session, I pointed out that he’s actually hurting Laura more by being unfaithful and deceptive. “And furthermore,” I explained, “we don’t do people any favors by catering to their illusions. It keeps them from growing and grappling with truth.”

The pain of lost relationships and fading hopes is built into the very fabric of daily living. We can’t escape it.

When he’s in Laura’s presence, he’s there physically, but that’s all. The rest of him is absent. In all likelihood, she senses that, which causes her a certain degree of suffering and unhappiness.

I just flatly told him:

“You can’t make her happy if you’re not happy being with her.”

Because he’s a divided man, his energy is diluted in each relationship. He pays a price as well. Sacrifice and self-denial is not a route to happiness. For his sake and the sake of everyone involved, he needs to follow the path of his truth.

“If you honor yourself—honoring what’s right for you—you’ll automatically be honoring everyone else,” I said.

“How can that be?” he asked. “I’ll be hurting Laura.”

I explained that honoring Laura means respecting her dignity and honoring her soul—the higher aspect of her. “You need to stop treating her like an emotional cripple—someone incapable of growing from pain and incapable of helping herself,” I said. “Stop making yourself her god.”

In the final analysis, Trent’s not responsible for Laura’s happiness, she is.

By the end of our session, I was encouraged by Trent’s response to my following question: “Why is suffering a good thing? What is good about it?”

He came off with this WOW:

“Suffering helps a person dig deep into their soul.  As a result they become wiser and stronger.”

Names are changed to honor client confidentiality.

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Filed under Client of the Week, Couples, Get Free, The Latest Wow!