Seek Sunlight
“I felt like a cage was around me when I was with John. I wasn’t me. I was afraid to be me. I was always nervous about doing the wrong thing and setting him off.” Those words were spoken by my client, Marta, who finally left her husband because he’s an alcoholic—he got violent. Click […]
Avoid the Muck and Guck
I found a perfect piece of advice for those of us who try to fix someone else’s distorted thinking. It’s an old Russian proverb that says: “Don’t drive a car straight down a crooked road.” Easier said than done, especially if we’re the target of someone’s erroneous accusations. At those times, it’s extremely difficult […]
The Latest Wow: Don’t Feed the Parasites!
Not long ago, one of my clients, Rani, wowed me with this: “Some people don’t really deserve the benefit of the doubt.” Experience taught Rani that somber truth. For months, she overlooked and excused multiple incidents of being used, deceived and manipulated by her friend, Val. “It finally reached such ludicrous proportions, I just couldn’t […]
Free to Leave
“A grain of sand becomes a beach in a millisecond.” Marta—my client—was talking about her over-reactive, hot-tempered husband who makes mountains out of mole hills. Add suspicion, an appetite for power, and alcohol to the mix and you have a potentially dangerous man. Not long ago, he became just that. It all started when she […]
Not to Upset the Family Bully, but . . .
I just have to share something with you. As a writer, I follow several blogs, one by author Kristen Lamb. She captured my attention in a recent post about bullying. Actually, she’s been cranking out post after post on that subject. In one she mentions “family bullying.” Here’s the quote that grabbed me: For every […]
The Latest Wow: “Get over it!” Really?
According to the late theologian Paul Tillich, “The first duty of love is to listen.” I rank listening right up there at the top of requirements for a well-running relationship. This includes love partnerships, parent-child relationships, friendships … you name it. Listening is a lot bigger than the mere act of hearing with our ears. […]
Keeping the Peace Backfires
“It has to change! I can’t take it anymore.” Liza was referring to her marriage. “If I don’t conform to how Stuart wants me to be, or if I don’t agree with how he sees things, he get’s furious,” she said. “And if he doesn’t get his way, he get’s stormy.” Liza was describing life […]
Reject Spirit Zappers
When we tune in to the outrage of being violated, no matter what the degree, it’s the beginning of putting up a protective shield. We’re designed to be invested in self-preservation. It appears that for the duration of our lifetime, we’re assigned to one person to fully watch over, to love unconditionally, and bathe with […]
The Latest Wow: Fire Your Inner Critic!
I had a client tell me once: “Every time I put myself down, I’m affirming that my mother was right.” Click here to read about Dawn and Doug and how their childhoods were fertile soil for the formation of negative self-talk and low self-worth.
She Turned Me Into a Puppet … But Puppets Can’t Love
“She turned me into a puppet, and then wondered why I no longer loved her. The answer is simple—a puppet doesn’t have a heart.” “As men, we share a single purpose: to find that one special female who will kill us just slowly enough that by the time we reach 80, we’re already dead.” To read […]