When we follow our dreams, we take up residence in a much larger part of ourselves . . . our soul.
“Be silently drawn by the stronger pull of what you really love.”
That line could apply to many circumstances. It can apply to a person, an activity, a career or a dream we’re squelching. Kelly is a prime example. Her life lacks color because of derailed dreams.
For as long as she can remember, Kelly was thoroughly captivated by the thought of becoming a chef. Excitement tackled her to the ground every time she thought about it, so buoyant was she over the prospect. But something regrettable happened to her once she turned 18. Her dream was replaced by something more socially expected. Instead of obeying her passion, she obeyed a programmed directive that said she should get married and have a family. And unfortunately for her, that’s exactly what she did.
Since then, Kelly’s life has been reduced to a series of compromises—and not surprisingly, she’s a very unhappy woman today. Her life is marked with an undercurrent of sadness, grieving the life she failed to choose for herself. She lacks enthusiasm for her job, for her family—for life in general. Kelly’s life is beige. Click here to continue reading Kelly’s story.
For another person’s take on this journey, read Tracie Louise’s blog here. (I’ve never met Tracie but her beautiful spirit—who she is—shines through in her writing and in her breathtaking photography. I’m sure you’ll agree. By the way, the parrot above is one example of her art.) What she wrote a few days ago resonated with me. Both Kelly and Tracie were weighed down by persistent unhappiness and dissatisfaction, clear signs that they were veering off course.
Only when we live life in accordance with our purest and deepest desires, do our lives take on the colors of contentment. As Tracie Louise says, “You CAN NOT go against the power of your soul.”
Names are changed to honor client confidentiality.
Depression and dissatisfaction with your life may be direct feedback from your inner guidance system telling you that you’re not fulfilling your true nature.
Branches on a young bonsai tree are wired down and shaped to conform to a fixed design. In time, the wires are no longer necessary. The bonsai will hold its forged shape. Like the bonsai, we were shaped at a young age. But unlike the bonsai, when the wires are removed—that is, when we grow up—we have the option to remain fixed, shaped permanently, or return to our original and natural form. We have choice.
Click here to read about Donna, a client who swallowed a lie about herself.
We are only truly free when we take the initiative to direct our own fate and move beyond an existence anchored to old patterns.
Chronic boredom is the sting of non-being,
The pain of the unlived life,
The roads not explored,
The risks not taken,
The persons not loved,
The thoughts not thought,
The feelings not savored.
Picture yourself canoeing down a stream. All’s running smoothly until you see something that warns you of possible trouble out ahead—tree limbs are sticking out of water.
Anchored to fear, you stop dead in the water. In this state of motionlessness your life stands still. You try to reassure yourself by saying, “At least I’m safe.” But are you? I’m reminded of this quote by Henry David Thoreau: “The tragedy of a man’s life is what dies inside of him while he lives.”
Ned, a client of mine, is safe but miserable. He has dreams—marvelous and reachable dreams—but he’s constantly paralyzed by a brain full of what-ifs, like “What if I don’t succeed?”
He wanted to know how to overcome that barrier. I started by giving him a personal example:
Several years ago, I took scuba diving classes before taking a trip to the Caribbean. Scuba diving was on the itinerary and I wanted to be prepared. But when the time came to perform, I froze. There I was in all my diving gear, poised to jump off the boat, but nothing happened. I couldn’t jump! This wasn’t me. I love the water and I’m a good swimmer! I think I stood there for ten solid minutes while everyone was forced to wait on me. Not a comfortable moment.
What was wrong? My brain was full of the what-ifs. Was a hungry shark awaiting his lunch? Would the equipment work? Did I really learn what I was supposed to learn?
Finally, I made the decision to take the plunge (literally). I did not have the luxury of waiting for my fears to subside. I decided to jump—despite my fears.
That event and others like it taught me that we have to act—seize the moment—if we want life to be real for us. We can’t wait for our fears to go away because they won’t. We’ll be waiting forever.
My son, Tav, once said this:
Sometimes we have to ask ourselves, “Am I in control of the outcome, or is my most feared outcome controlling me?”
That is where I took Ned next. I wanted him to feel capable of managing obstacles instead of being a helpless victim at their mercy. And in fact, according to Orison Swett Marden,
“Most obstacles melt away when we make up our minds to walk boldly through them.”
My earlier blog post titled “Close Your Eyes and Jump!” also addresses this topic.
Names are changed to honor client confidentiality.